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I'm sorry my friend, but I have to say, there is really no substance to this intro post. There is no "verification photo", it doesn't really say much about the user, and the sentences are barely full sentences. I recommend reading this post by @ethandsmith.
Polish Your Posts
And also read this post by @ogochukwu.
Learn how to write quality comments that improve your blog
I suggest reading those posts and then looking for intro posts that have a bit more to them. Thank you for participating!