The Darkness In Me...

Its nearly been four years since you have left a emptiness in my heart. But for some reason I can't let go, I know that I need to, so that you can rest, but I loved you so much that I can't, I can't say it. My heart long for you every min of every day. I know you would want me to carry on with my life, but my life have no meaning without you in it. The day your hart stopped beating you took mine with you. My life is dark and cold, You know like winter inside me. All the green is gone its only sand and dead grass, nothing green is left. I cant believe you left without saying good bye I think that the reason why I can't deal with your passing. It was so unexpected so suddenly, I can't talk about you without crying, or look at pictures of you with out crying. You are big part of my life you always will be. I wake up every day, go to work smile and pretend that I'm happy and normal, but instead I'm empty inside .will I ever get used to the idea that you are in a better place now. Why so soon? Why you? Why?
I will always love you. Till we meet again xxxx