you may have two choices :
1/ live with a sad heart, missing you beloved every minute and pass the rest of your life in shadows and pains. Your beloved one would not wish that, I imagine, and she is emprisonned with your sorrow, not able to spred her angel wings and fly.
2/ live with a full heart, joyful and happy, with your beloved one melted in your cells : So, as long as you live, then she will live in you. Not appart as when you had two bodies... There is one body for you AND her, how more close could you be to her ? Feel this love and happiness and let it out, like a sun lets out its rays. Walkd in the light and be light in heart. Then, your beloved one would be able to spread wide out her wings and fly : be the angel she meant to be. Let her free from your sufferings, sufferings which are only a mental construction.
Wish you a peaceful and happy holidays, wherever you are... be in your happy heart.
cheers