Redacted Journal - October 8-14, 2019

Oct 8th, I woke around 1:30 am, read the Bible, and took a while to get back to sleep. I woke around 6:30 am, didn't fall back asleep, read more Bible around 7:30, and got up at 8... I tried to open the bathroom door but it was locked. A man signaled he was inside. When he came out, he… had a black eye. He seemed to be Anglophone. He went into room 214 next to me. He said he was new here and I said nice to meet you. I... went to the bike shop around 3:08 pm. It was locked. Henry was not early as he said last week he would be. Richard was there… There was a pile for disassembly, and one for assembly. He said he was going to say something in French and see how much I understood. I picked out a few words to grasp the subject matter. He said I could do what I wanted. I disassembled 2 bikes. Henry showed me how to add spokes. A lot of it was more straightforward, but I fussed with a few tricky spots. There were some handlebars fused with the forks. WD 40, a vise, and lever worked. Anthony was there again. He asked me if I had disassembled a bike. Some people came and Henry said we didn't have space for them today because all of the stands were in use. I was finishing up and offered mine, but Henry said they didn't need it after all. The song "I'm the Bad One" came on. Later, a song with the words "I won’t go home without you." played and Henry asked me how I would say that in French. We stayed a few minutes after 7 finishing up. Henry I believe was discussing the price of a bike when I left. In the metro, someone was singing "Bless the Lord Oh My Soul."...

Oct 9th, I woke around 4 am. There was some noise, but it stopped. It was a little harder to breathe and I didn't sleep very well. I got up after 7:30 am and got ready. I made some lemon ginger tea and opened many news stories. I saw Linda with a grave expression as she got out of her car. I was on time and Mariam gave me 5 heads of lettuce. I worked hard, then one of the head ladies came and asked me to fill out a form. It was just the basic info, name, address, emergency contact. I told her I had filled out a form with a lot of that info. She said she couldn't find it. I said I wasn't giving out my address, but gave her my PO box number. I also showed her my ID. She said she was trying to get things up to date. I finished that part around 10 am and helped Renee with the curtains. She only speaks French. She asked what school I go to. I said I wasn't a student, but I was taking a French course. She asked where... Evelyn came in later. She offered to buy me lunch again but I declined. She helped me pick out which ladles they like. She insisted I come back to eat. I think she said something like I have to get paid, even though I do pay for lunches. I quickly shopped and bought a few things from the book section. I paid half and got half a lunch. Evelyn asked me if I bought anything. I quickly ate, looked at the fabric section, went home and tried google maps directions, but despite having internet it said it couldn’t find a way there. I took a screenshot and went to the bus stop in time. I... went to class almost a half an hour early. Two other students were there. It was mostly quiet. The teacher did correct some of my writing from last week. The teacher said he was open to suggestions on things to do in class. In the first part of class he went around the room and asked people to remember and tell the class something they did recently. People struggled to remember what they ate/did yesterday, etc. He asked me what I did this morning. More memory testing. I said I volunteered in the kitchen making salad. Isabella asked me what the name of the place was. I said I didn't know. [True] The teacher talked a lot. Kenneth asked me if it was the same in English and I didn't know what they were talking about. Over break I spoke with Emily. She asked me where I lived, what my house was like, If I was alone, and if my parents lived in the United States. She must have asked me the last one five times. I asked why she really wanted to know that. She said "ah" like she was agreeing and didn't understand. Awkward silence. She got up and grabbed the key to the bathroom, but came back very quickly. She asked me if my eyes looked like my mother or grandfather (father?). Then we listened to more audio...

Oct 10th, I woke around 2:20, my heart pounding, but got back to sleep. I got up before 8 am and got ready... The Muslim mom and Wyatt were in the kitchen. I went to turn on youtube, but my phone was off. I tried to turn it on and it did not respond at first. I had it plugged in as well. It said storage was full when it did turn on. It was at 7.56. It turned off for a second again… I… headed out a few minutes early to the bus stop. The driver was 2 minutes early, and driving very fast. The machine gave a red light, but the driver said it was broken. It also did not work for some other people. I was about 15 minutes early. The teacher was asking the people what they did/ate yesterday. He asked me what I was going to have for dinner this evening. I took a long time to answer, and said potatoes and that I didn't know how to say beets. Jack's phone kept buzzing. Emily came and said ça va. We listened to more audio. Jack sighed and was annoyed about something. I answered a few questions I know. The teacher started the store role play, picking us as clients and having us order from him. Jack did an unusually bad job for him. Emily was next and didn't seem to know how to say much. Various students would leave the room occasionally with or without the key to the bathroom. The teacher was asked what he did yesterday. He said it was a memory exercise and the class laughed. Various students would also get up and leave the room at my college in Tennessee, in my computer and AutoCAD classes. We had a break and I used Google translate and went through my notes. Emily seemed expectant, and left the room for a while, then came back. Class commenced, and the teacher went around the room. We asked about products, costs, amounts, etc. It went pretty well. We had a comprehension exercise. While Douglas handed me the handouts, he asked for my name. He asked me to write it on his paper as if preferring it to my dry erase one. Then he asked for my last name. The teacher said we could talk to our neighbors for help. We had 20 minutes. I did not know many words, and worked through it as well as I could. Emily seemed expectant again. She left and came back, and before the end of class, she asked me about the second question. I tried to help with broken French. The teacher told us about the political debate this evening. I asked Douglas what his name was. He wrote that and did not spell out his last name despite asking me to. I stopped in the bathroom and saw Beverly... At the library I started journaling but was booted off almost without any warning. Someone had made a reservation, but never showed up. I reserved an hour after they reserved only 15 minutes... Also, the cupboards were dramatically cleaner. Ellie came in and I pointed the water out to her. She said it was left over from when she and Will cleaned [because the young child was here]. I said I noticed that and thanked her. On my way back to my room my neighbor's door was wide open. It is often ajar. My neighbor started to speak to me when I went in, and said he just wanted to say hi because he is next door. I said bonsoir.

Oct 11th... I woke around 3:50 am. It sounded like noise from my neighbor. I could not get back to sleep for hours. My heater would make a little noise. I turned on my flashlight to read some Bible and the person upstairs moved a little. I tried to use serenity to lower my heart rate. I may have gotten back to sleep around 6 am, and woke at around 7:30 and 8:30-9. I got ready and heated breakfast. I saw Wyatt leave. He said hello. I noticed lots of small plates under the island. I remember yesterday Ellie said she couldn't find any plates. Maybe she wanted a big one? As I left the kitchen I heard someone outside the door and paused. Yesterday I precariously carried my food and plan on buying a cookie sheet to help me carry them to my room. Will paused as well on the other side of the door. We said our ça vas... My period started and the pain relief took a long time to kick in, during class. I took the bus which was 2 minutes early again and finished the cycling book. I read my notes, then Emily asked for more help. She seemed to not understand my explanations, and made suggestions that were completely obviously wrong. Emily did struggle with the language, but it seemed to me she was exaggerating her inability. The teacher started with giving a detailed account of what he did yesterday evening and this morning. Then he started going around the room and having each person do the same. Douglas told a story I didn't understand. The class lingered on it. Then the teacher, before my turn, asked who else would like to share, and said it wasn't obligatory. Then they talked about the debate. I tried translating, but didn't understand much. We reviewed yesterday's paperwork, which I barely understood and I made a page of new vocabulary. I stopped by the bathroom during the break, and when I got back, they were discussing whether immigrants should be forced to take French courses. The teacher didn't think so, As much as he believed they were good, people start assimilating the second they step into Quebec by trying to live here, and should be able to learn French in their own way. He said Canada has a lot of laws, and whether that is good depends on the person's convictions. For himself, he has strong confidence in the individual. He gave an eloquent defence of individualism and small government. [This could have been a way to encourage me to talk politics with someone who seems sympathetic to my views.] We played a speed game with our cell phones on kahoot.it. The younger girl asked to use my spare battery. During the game around 3:30 pm, she returned it, having managed to tangle the auto retract cord. It was doubled back and tucked inside itself. The game was entertaining. It was a mix of winners, but at the end I was in 2nd place. There were some questions that advantaged me as an American. There was also a picture of Putin, and the teacher's name as an option. He asked whether they had a president or prime minister. [He asked this to me. As seen before with people saying I have a Russian accent or the like, people broach the subject of Russia as if to gauge my response. I had recently been reading a lot of international news, and might have known the answer to his question, but perhaps that could be painted as suspicious. My reaction was deer in the headlights.] Sophia won. I congratulated her on my way out. Next Monday there is no class... I arrived home. My neighbor’s door was wide open. I tried not to look in as I passed. He said Salut. I looked at my cycling book, then through the rest of my books. I picked one on robotics to read next. I went to use the restroom when my neighbor walked down the hall towards me and said hello again. [He "happened" to interact more than I would expect naturally.] ...

Oct 12th, I woke momentarily around 1:30 am, and at another point. Got up around 8 am... At a library, I went to a Sketchup tutorial. The girl spoke mostly in French. 3 others came. The woman who sat next to me said she didn't want to try and just let me, then went with her boyfriend. I asked the teacher several questions but mostly figured it out for myself. The woman came back, and said to me "There are no secrets for you." As if learning sketchup was ominous and secret information. The teacher said pixilab had this and other free software… I wrote a short essay on Advice to Guys Who Flirt with Me...

Oct 13th, Last night I listened to the song "When the Day is Over" twice. On drudge there was a headline, "Do psychopaths make good doctors?" [The song was about feeling someone's love through the battle. This could be an example of testing if I had favorable feelings towards psychopaths and or doctors, similar to Bryan Andrews, who has an advanced medical degree.] I woke around 5 with my heart pounding but got back to sleep. After a few false starts I got up around 8 and got ready… When I got to church the woman at the door told me I was to write one thing I was thankful for and put it on the tree, and that it would be a secret who wrote it. During announcements, she told everyone again and said she hoped people would talk to each other. During worship the woman next to me asked me if I was new, if I lived around here, and what my name was. Her name was something like Camila. Later she asked if I had a car. She said she asked because she has winter tires to give away. [Are those universally compatible?] It was a guest speaker who talked about being thankful for the things God was going to do in the future. I grabbed a treat or two on the way out. Camila had been looking at her phone and left early... I played the song "How Beautiful" by Twila Paris. I heard lots of shouting in French in the hall. I bought some toy robot kits at the yard sale. I had told the girl at pixilab that the STEM toys looked interesting to me. Both kits were missing essential components, so I only got a tiny solar panel and motor. I… watched an episode of Survivors [a show about a pandemic]... My neighbor bumped into my door and said sorry.

Oct 14th, I woke around 3:30 am and stayed partially awake for a while. I heard some noises as I was going to sleep, but those did not stop me and they went away. There was a little noise during the night. I got up around 4 and read my Bible, and stayed in bed doing calculous… I had coughed a little the first time I sat up, and I heard a lot of coughing from somewhere else. I had some emergen-C during brunch… My letter of recommendation came in from the bike warehouse... People were watching a movie, and someone was laughing like the joker for a long time. Also someone sounds like they are throwing up...