Depressingly Depressed
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Part and parcel of living with Multiple Sclerosis involves suffering with depression. The fact that I have a life long condition that affects my health could be the cause of my depression. Maybe it's knowing my health will steadily get worse, or possibly because of the chronic pain and overwhelming fatigue I experience. Depression can also be a side effect of MS - if lesions are in a certain area of my brain, that can cause it.
Regardless, I usually have a handle on it and treat it with pills every night before I go to sleep. I used to be very anti-drugs, but have come to accept that I need them, if not for my own sanity, then to help my family live with me.
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A few weeks ago I had a bout of flu. My immune system is wonky: in Multiple Sclerosis, it's your own immune system that attacks your nervous system, leaving lesions (scars) in your brain or spinal column. Once damaged in such a way, your nerves never fully heal. When I have a cold or flu, my immune system either goes into overdrive to attack it, or it's slow to react. Either way, when it does kick in it gets carried away and attacks my nerves too. This time the flu dragged on, draining my energy - something I had little of to start with. I suspect my immune system also went on a rampage as I have still not fully recovered to my level of health before the flu struck.
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For those that follow my blog, you may have noticed I have been unusually quiet of late. Even though the flu has now subsided, I seem to have lost my mojo. I can't think clearly, I seem to be spending more time in bed each day and I have come to realise that I may be more depressed than usual. I have not been as active in the various communities I am a part of and feel like I am letting everyone down.
Why am I writing this? To get sympathy perhaps? Nope. Just to let people know that I still strongly believe in this platform and the various community offshoots. Yes, there are problems here - just look at the shit show that is the trending page - but they can be fixed. How? Someone cleverer than me can figure that out. But for now, I'm taking a little time offline. I need it. I can still be contacted on Discord if needs be - I check it throughout the day.
Meanwhile I still keep a check on my witness server, making sure it's running as it should and publishing a regular price feed. Having lost a large witness vote I have slipped down to rank 88, but I appreciate each and every person who still supports my witness. Thank you all. If you'd like to support me, click the link in my footer.
See you on the other side.
Muxxy.
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I'm glad you're taking time off and not pushing yourself to "get over it." Many people try to shove depression aside and ignore it, but imo that just makes it worse.
Take all the time you need and we will be here for you when you get back (and if you need anything in the meantime). You're one of the best of us, you know. :)
Muxx, we love you. We'll take the good days with the bad just to have you as part of our lives. Just because I've always admired your positivity doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be depressed, angry, and tired. If you need to be yourself, take your time to do that. But if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. Most of the block is here. Just DM or yell and scream and vent in general. We'll keep on loving you regardless. You are missed but your own physical and mental health comes first!
Sad to hear brother muxxy :(
Its a start with acknowledging that you are feeling mentally as how you normally would. You already took that one. I wish there was something we could to for you as a community, because you are such a loveable social animal.
Give yourself all the time you need, the world will keep spinning, but you are the one who has to get back in the spinning game as well
take care dude!
Never forget you have a ton of people at the block, rooting for you. Take care of yourself, Muxxy and get well, so you can come back to us soon hugs
We wish you all the best, muxxy. I can't imagine what you're dealing with on a daily basis. I can only hope you recover as much as is naturally possible without the aid of alien intervention or nuclear waste accidents. We'll all be ready for you when you get back on your feet.
You know I've got a Minxycandle burning every day. You just do what you need to get better and know you're loved at the Block. Hugs
It was hard for me to upvote this post because I still faintly associate that with "like," and I don't like what you're going through. However, I do understand it. Nothing about chronic illness is easy. Part of living with it is learning when to coast, and when to actually apply the brakes. I'm encouraged that you recognize depression for what it is, and understand what causes it. Also, that you're in tune with yourself enough to know when it's time to put you first, and let your body and mind heal.
You are surrounded by friends who love you and consider you family. You will not lose any of us by taking some downtime. We want what's best for you, so we can keep you with us for many, many years to come.
I am sorry to hear this and wish blessings and the best to you in fighting this condition.
I can tell from the other comments that you are well loved @gmuxx. Take care of yourself first. Steemit will be here when you have found your strength to do more and all of your fans will be waiting.
hugs
Worry not about the platform or whoever might be wondering why you need your time. Health is the utmost priority, take your time and take extra good care of yourself.
You know you have some genuine people here who care a great deal about your well-being.
Lots of love,
Josie