I need to get my shit together

“I need to get my shit together!” is something I have said quite a bit in my life. I hear it from others often as well. My most common uses are about exercise and weight loss. If I realized I hadn’t been working-out or knew I was getting even more out of shape I would regularly say, “I have to get my shit together!” If I was eating too much or the bad stuff or just all around not doing something adequately, I needed to “get my shit together”.

The sad part on the dieting front was that I would know I needed to “get my shit together” on Friday but didn’t want to actually have it together till Monday (because that’s the rules of getting shit together. It’s like underwear in the top drawer. It’s just how the world works). This meant I had to eat all the pizza and crap I could between Friday and Monday morning. When my brain would apparently and magically be more able to keep all my shit together! I hear others say it all the time. It’s used about exercise, food, career, school, and finances. Heck I even heard someone once say they needed to “get their shit together” when referring to the amount gear they had and/or didn’t have for a particular sport.

So here is what I decided. The phrase “Get my shit together” is one I should NEVER say to myself or out to the world. For me (and I only speak for me) it is a reflection of one of two things. Self-deprecation or the start of an already endless cycle. Often both. Saying I have to get my shit together implies my shit is a mess. It means it’s all over the place I can’t control it and it means that any attempts I have made in the past were inadequate and useless. It doesn’t honor anything of how hard I have tried or worked or even the phase of life or mental health state I am in. Its like the anti thought of doing the best in the moment you are in.

On the cycle part “getting my shit together” means I have to find something new or start over something I already tried and apparently didn’t stick with. Probably because when my shit comes together it’s a “do it this way and only this way “ Nazi.   It means that I need to get back to a certain number of workouts, some strict diet, some crazy schedule that I am suppose to maintain while living in an imperfect world with relationships with imperfect people while being imperfect. WELLLL I cant do that. Turns out my perfect me is really imperfect!

I have learned that “My shit” is not suppose to be together. And on that thought its not shit! Its all me and it’s a big swirl and cycle and things come and go and I am more gentle with myself. I honor the changes of season and weather and even people but I never seemed to honor what those changes mean to my shit!” I no longer feel bad if I am not running 4 miles a day and doing weights, plus long hikes. I try to pay attention to how my body and brain feel. I stay active but not in a prescribed manner. If I feel like hiking I hike, if I want to run I run, if I don’t want to do anything I walk the dogs and meditate. For me it’s about being true to who I am in any moment. If I feel like doing nothing I take a moment to figure out why. Am I tired, am I getting the nutrients I need, am I not in the right brain space? Then I work on that issue. Without judgment! It’s amazing what happens when you stop forcing yourself into things you don’t want to do.

Please understand I am not saying you shouldn’t eat well or be active, but that’s the end of the statement. Try to give your body what it needs and be active in a way that is fun. Go for a walk, go for a hike, do pushups, don’t do pushups, crossfit, or beach body videos, or go dancing, change what you do all the time if that suits you. Just leave your shit alone! It is together! All of it is nestled nicely inside your body in a beautiful package. Quit picking on it and quit trying to get it to fit in pretty little boxes you got for free then doctored up like some picture you saw on pintrest until your free boxes cost you 400.00 and look nothing like what you envisioned and you throw them out like trash and feel like now you have to “get your shit together” because you’re broke and you have craft trash all over the place. (Not that anything like that has ever happened to me before