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Dear, oh dear. I have a few mottos / pillars that I try to live my life by. One of which is...

Never make the same mistake twice

Fall down the stairs wearing novelty slippers... I won't do that again. Using an axe to chop wood after a few too many beers... that was a close one.

Gareth Southgate on the other hand... learns NOTHING.

So rather than dissect England's performance, I'll direct you towards our last match. Some pundits suggest that we were better against Slovenia - a team ranked 30 places LOWER than Denmark in 57th. That's lower than distinguished footballing nations like Iraq and Saudi Arabia and from what I saw, we never looked like scoring.

Highlights

For me, there were 3 "highlights", the 3rd being a demonstration of me not making the same mistake as last time.

1. Our disallowed goal

For the only time that I saw, we moved the ball quickly and not just the ball - the players too. Cutting a hole in the Slovenian defence for Saka to tap in. It was quick, it was beautiful, it was... offside.

2. Kobbie Mainoo

I think Mainoo's overrated but there was no doubt that when he came on, there was a different level of energy. I don't think Southgate's made a substitution that early (barring injury) in his managerial career so this in itself was positive. At the beginning of the 2nd half, he looked extremely lively.

3. I fell asleep 😴

This was the highlight for me. I've made the mistake of trying to stay awake during England games before but not this time. This time, I happily let my eyes close and that was that. Only to be woken up by Slovenia's celebrations at the final whistle.

I could also hear boos and if Southgate was continuing to delude himself over how England fans feel, I think the travelling support made their feelings clear.

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Oh...

Asked what had changed about the environment around the team, Southgate replied: "I think probably expectation. We've made England over the last six or seven years fun again. I think it has been enjoyable for the players. We've got to be very, very careful that it stays that way." Source

Fun? He thinks watching England is fun.

It's not fun Gareth. It's never been fun. Even when we were winning with your Dog Shit defensive football, it wasn't fun. Getting my disobedient 6 year old ready for school is more fun than watching this shit.

The only fun thing about it, is that you know it's going to be shit. So you can turn it off and enjoy the empty roads and quieter shops.

Tomorrow night, it's Slovakia. A team ranked 45th in the world. I'll make sure I'm ready by putting my pyjamas on and getting my teeth brushed. Brushing teeth is very important.

It might be the earlier 5pm kick off. But I'm confident that Gareth and the boys will do the business and I'll be asleep by 7.