“Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.” – Alan Cohen"

I love the Cohen quote you ended with. I think there in lies the secret to self-regard and love. I have pretty much gone past caring too much about what others think and to be honest what I think too. Opinions are changeable, or at least they should be, and so I do not attach my sense of self to them. I offer them and have them but with little attachment to being right. For sure in the very least my opinion lacks nuance. I have to admit I still get a little peeved when I get talked down to and treated like a child ... mansplaining for example... but I also have to admit most men I know wouldn't dare. I need work on this sensitivity but the reason I like this quote is that yes ... your real friends and supporters ... your unconditional lovers know this about you. But what is most important is that 'you' know this about yourself. Then you care a lot less about the opinions of others and whether or not they seem to validate you. You honor your opinions and feelings but also remember they are passing like clouds and you lie beneath like blue sky. I have found that waiting for others to validate you before you feel good about yourself is a recipe for feeling inadequate.