This isn't exactly a revlation, but happiness seems like a carrot on a stick anyhow. It's a marketing gimmick meant to keep you moving, both as an individual organism and in terms of being part of a larger system of relationships. A bit like American Santa, ironically enough. The promise of fulfillment and all that. You know, getting stuffed both physically and emotionally. Meanwhile the things you want are almost never the things you need. Either or, sooner or later reality settles in and people move on to the next best desire and that's that, but reality is never quite as grand as the marketing. So better hold on to those receipts I guess, because the higher your expectations are the bigger your dissappointment will be.

The latter is imo cause for many of those family fights. Everybody is just acting like they believe they should, effectively putting up masks in order live up to some unrealistic ideal. Maybe in terms of replicating old memories and emotions, or maybe because you got hyped by the media, or got peer pressured into attributing an importance to things that ultimately aren't. Then someone cracks and the blame game starts with everybody pointing fingers. Or maybe it works out, but even then the shit talking just starts a few days later. But that just my subjective experience.

Regarding the cat you never know. Was having one that lost all it's teeth due to some kind of autoimmunity issue. Turns out not pulling the plug was the right decision, because the guy still lived until he started dragging one of his legs. Probably a bite or such, but either way fixing it would've required keeping him in a narrow cage for a few months. The alternative being amputation, or putting him down. So I scheduled for the amputation and walked him over next morning. I forget the exact details, but thats when they discovered additional kidney problems. I think those could've been handled as well, but that's where I drew the line. Maybe it it had been one thing or the other, but sometimes you just have to let go. Or that's how I felt back then anyhow.

Also damn well almost burned the house down. I was so stressed by the whole drama I left the stove on before leaving the house. Luckily there was a pot of water sitting on top, but when I got home most water was gone and the bottom had turned black. I think I've still got that pot somewhere. Then I then ended up burying the cat in the yard. Must've been like maybe seven years ago? Eh, doesn't matter.

On a positive note: I figure the trick to being satisfied is wanting what you have instead of wanting what you don't. I wish you guys get what you're looking for.