Qualities of a good Life-Partner
Accept it or not, everyone idealizes a perfect life partner at a young age. But let's be clear, a perfect life partner is just a myth. No one can be perfect and everyone has some shortcomings. When we are not perfect ourselves then it's ridiculous to expect perfection from our partner. Instead, we should embrace the imperfections and see if we complement the partner, like two imperfect pieces of a jigsaw puzzle fit together.
When I was young, I dreamed of having a partner like those described in books or portrayed in movies - Loving and Handsome. (I had never given much thought to the wealth factor, I had this much sense that money can't buy happiness)
I got engaged at a very young age of 19. Soon I realized that being loving and handsome is not enough. Unknowingly, I started expecting other things like respect, loyalty, and trust. Luckily, I found everything essential for a perfect relationship with my fiance. We are married for more than 5 years now and living a happy life. Alhamdulillah.
I will share the qualities that my husband possess or partners should possess to lead a happy life.
1- Respect
It is the most important element for a healthy relation. We witness many abusive partners around us. In my opinion, such relations should not be continued. Respect is something, one shouldn't compromise on. Allah has created spouses to find comfort and solace in each others' company, not abuse and hatred.
2- Trust, Loyalty and Honesty
Trust is the second important element for a healthy relationship in my opinion. Loyalty is something else. I am talking about having confidence in your partner that he will be with you through thick and thin. It is easier said than done. But there is no point in a relationship if you are doubtful about the support of your partner in your bad times.
Loyalty is very important. Nowadays, many married people look for relations out of wedlock. We all know it is prohibited by Allah but let's not bring in the religion. It is very inappropriate anyways, ethically and morally too. If you truly love your partner then there shouldn't be a need to look around and feel guilty when you lose the trust and respect in other's eyes.
Be honest with each other. Honesty, loyalty and trust are interlinked with each other. Being honest with your partner gives him confidence in you. It helps build up trust too. It promotes loyalty as well and if someone gets side-tracked or develops interest somewhere else, he/she will be honest about it. I think hiding and lying are worse traits than being unfaithful.
3- Communication
Many couples fight just because they don't communicate properly. Women's thought process is complicated, whereas men's is pretty simple. Women expect that men understand their emotions without saying anything. Men think they are doing enough. This all leads to a lot of confusion and misunderstanding. Here comes the proper communication in the picture. Both partners should be expressive with each other. This helps clear out a lot of unnecessary misunderstandings and fights. Being expressive and emotionally open with each other makes the bonding strong as well.
I recommend everyone to read a book called, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
4- Space and Compromise
Two individuals cannot have the same interests, hobbies, or opinions. Giving space to your partner for his own hobbies and interests is very important. If we tell them off to see their friends and do their favorite hobby, it will slowly create negativity and suffocation in the relation. Taking some time off from each other helps build up more love and positivity.
We should also learn to compromise on little shortcomings of each other.
5- Supportive
We should be supportive to our partners. Encourage and motivate them to achieve their dreams. Many couples just don't care about their partners' dreams or ambitions and don't like it when the other is successful. Do we even love the person whose happiness we cannot stand?
These are some of the main traits a good partner shall have. I am lucky to have a husband who has all the above mentioned traits. He is a much better person and partner than me to be honest. We both are not very expressive so communication was a problem but we have overcome that with time and are expressive with each other. Other than that I am lucky that my husband is very supportive, caring and respects all my decisions. He knows how to lighten my mood and makes an effort to keep me happy. He knows how to cook and makes delicious pastas and steaks. Hehe
I on the other hand, try to be supportive of his decisions as well. Respect him and people linked to him. Give him space to enjoy time with his friends.
It is said that true worth of a wife is realized when she's sick. It is the challenging time for husband. Similarly true worth of a husband is realized when he's not rich. It is a challenging time for a wife.
So I think men should care for their wives and share the workload when they are sick and women should not put unnecessary burden on the shoulders of their men to buy every thing for them they set eyes on.
I hope you found some useful tips in this post. I tried to sum up my experience.
Marriage is a two way street. It requires give-and-take to function smoothly.
Thankyou for reading.
Kind Regards,
event-horizon
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So many good things in a single post. Seriously, No one is perfect and the more a person lives in imagination the more he/she gets hurt. And it becomes difficult to continue.
Well said, respect is most important in every relation and if we talk about marriage, then this is the most important. If your partner can't respect you there is nothing left to be in that relationship anymore. A person must have self-respect and no compromise should be done over that.
Rightly said then there is trust and loyalty. This matters the most. If your partner is loyal and sincere then he will be responsible too. And yes! trust is very important if one is loyal and the other has trust issues, sorry but things are difficult here.
Haha! I just second each and every word of yours in communication. I seriously can imagine this, like I have witnessed this for so many couples.
Then yes space, compromise, and support are there. For me, the above 3 are most important and I expect a huge amount of loyalty and honesty from my partner. I want him to be loyal to me and for this, I have to win his trust obviously and I am ready for it.
Just loved each and every bit of your post. I am not married but I am so happy that I can relate my thoughts with yours. Sorry for the long post but just loved it. You have written it so beautifully and the best part was I seriously can relate to the sequence of points.
MAY ALLAH BLOOM MORE AND MORE LOVE BETWEEN YOU BOTH AND BLESS YOU ALL WITH UNLIMITED HAPPINESS AND HEALTH. Aameen :)
Is this your participation post? @Aniqamashkoor😅😂
Hehe I also wanted to pen down my quality list but was quite busy :p and when I read hers they were so on point 😄 that I can't stop myself and ended up in writing a short essay😂
I am glad that you can relate to these points.
There was so much more I wanted to say but couldn't do it.
Thankyou so much for the prayers. Need those the most.
Besides all the best points of the post. <3
ok, this will be my next read. I'll tell you after reading.
Sure. 😀
سر جی آپ کی بہت بہت مہربانی ہوگی مجھے اب تو لیبل
دے دو اب تو میں نے الحمداللہ پہلی کامیابی حاصل کرلی ہے
مبارک ہو۔ آپکو لیبل لگا دیا ہے۔
بہت بہت شکریہ سر اللہ تعالی آپ کو جزا دے
@Event-Horizon😂😂😂😂
سر آپ کی مہربانی ہوگی مجھے لیبل دے دیں میں نے کامیابی ون کی دنوں سے حاصل کر رکھی ہے
سر جی کراس پوسٹنگ بند کریں۔ امید ہے لیبل مل جائے گا۔
ٹھیک ہے سر غلطی کے لیے معذرت خواہ ہوں