My personal perspective about courtship
 |
|---|
It feels good to make an entry into this contest. This subject really caught my attention and of course I deemed it fit to share my thoughts in line with the subject matter. Let me appreciate my friend and colleagues @okere-bkessing for coming up with this beautiful contest. Let's get into it guys!
Courtship is a phase preceding marriage where intending couples get to know and understand each other. This phase is the penultimate phase which should lead to marriage. Let's not forget that the journey into marriage is in phases and stages. There is a stage where both parties meet for the first time or initiate a move in this direction which we call the talking stage.
It moves into a stage where they become friends and a close one at that and then it metamorphose into a relationship because at this point feelings has set and they want to do the needful by taking it a step further into the penultimate stage of courtship which spans for a short while and then marriage.
Maintaining good relationship in courtship that can lead to marriage is not a child's play. Both parties will have to put in the required work to see it work, let not forget that it's the penultimate phase but then anything can happen if any of the parties become careless or negligent in anyway. I will like to metion few tips below.
• Commitment: both party must resolve to be committed to each other and give no room to any third party whatsoever, by third party I do not mean those who are willing to help, I mean those who are doing their best to sow a seed of discord. Commitment should also be seen in the light of giving all it take to keep the relationship moving, this include your time, energy and resources.
 |
|---|
• Trust: Both parties must ensure that the wall of trust is intact and not broken. Broken trust could eventually end a journey to marriage, no matter the stage, be it in the courtship stage which is closest to marriage. What am saying in essence is that both parties must be as transparent as possible when dealing with each other. This will go a long way in holding the relationship together.
• Love: well I had to put this as the last on my list and that because love is not always enough. The other two aforementioned point goes hand in hand with love. But if you ask me, love is the biggest ingredient of it all. If I do not love my lady or woman, I won't be willing to spend the rest of my life with her. There would be no drive to do just that unless I have some ulterior and selfish motive to do that.
I think with these few points of mine, relationship in courtship can be sustained and driven into marriage. What do you think? You can share your thoughts with me in the comment section.
I would love to say that lack of transparency would make a shipwreck of that relationship. Everything must be laid bare during courtship. Courtship is that phase that ushers into marriage, therefore everything that needs to be shared must be shared. It's a phase where both party get to share the hidden part of their life.
 |
|---|
This will help solidify decision to proceed or not. Not sharing these things can eventually end the marriage you have always wanted to achieve in the first place, if it is later reveal. Chances are, you might still end up winning your man or woman after sharing those things you think are ugly or dark as long as they are in your past.
Choosing to allow your ugly past or secret find you in marriage will be devastating. You don't want to be caught up in such situations. Let do well to talk more. This is the main goal of this stage, communicating more to reveal who we truly are.
There is no exact time perse but there could be a time frame for healthy courtship. In my opinion, courtship should be between 6month - 2 years maximum. If you can achieve it in 1 year , that's great as well. This time frame is enough to help you get to know your man or woman better.
However, you can't know "all" about your man or woman within that time frame, your knowledge about her will continue even in marriage but that time frame if diligently used, can reveal so much about your man or woman which would help you make an informed decision whether to cotinue or not.
Lastly, long courtship can lead to something else, parties might end up defiling each other in the name of courting i.e having sexual activities which should only be done in marriage. Don't forget that at this point, their bodies are now burning with desires and the longer they stay in courtship, the closer they are to defiling themselves and when they do this enough, they might end up not marrying.
My question is do all courtship end in marriage? Of course not. This means courtship do not guarantee marriage. However it is a prerequisite and one of the very ingredients needed in that journey, that because it exposes both parties to more about themselves and to help them decide if they are really ready to journey life together.
I think I've said enough already, I would love to drop my pen and just before I do, I would love to invite @josepha @m-fdo @radleking to this contest. I hope they also find it interesting. Gracias!
Regards
@lhorgic❤️
https://x.com/lhorgic1/status/1836727794320949337
💯⚜2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣4️⃣ This is a manual curation from the @tipu Curation Project
@tipu curate
Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 3/8) Get profit votes with @tipU :)