"" Poetry For Beloved Father ""

I once thought you were whiny, Dad.

As soon as you cried you shed tears

when your father left us.

The runny boy did not respond to loss

because they are accustomed to seeing robots that can no longer walk

but you can still be invited to play war games.

I once thought you were mean, Dad.

So blind you beat me

until it was battered and blood from my nose was pouring out

just because I asked for two hundred silver

to buy a pack of batagor;

even then you still add it with a sharp machete

that you stuck around my neck;

if you don't hurry

my life has flown.

I hated you ever since, Dad!

We haven't spoken to each other for six years.

I never greeted you at the slightest

You never again ask me how my school is.

We are two men who are as if mute, utterly mute

because the mute is still talking

through his bodily movements, whereas we are not.

You let me do whatever I want

including bringing girls and downing drinks in my room.

Even though at that time I just wanted you to reprimand

I miss you getting angry.

But why did you let me get drunk

you let me break

So bad brat, would-be bastard?

You let me regret it myself

like you finally regretted it

your wasted youth

as a father who failed to be loved.

Sometimes, in silence I deliberately

listening to my own footsteps

just to make sure

is it true that our steps sound the same?

And it's true, I grew to be like you,

Only our paths are different.

I won't beat up my son

like you beat me.

In the twilight

I deliberately hid to tears

when I saw you carrying my son.

Your hand that used to be strong beat me

now shaking stroking your grandson's head.

When I saw my tears fell

maybe I will be considered a crybaby by my son

because I cried long before losing you.