Greetings,
I am sorry about your funds being lost in a future trade, I haven't indulged in any myself but I keep hearing of its goods and evils, but one common among all I have come across is that we should only invest what we can afford to lose.

I also gave thought to commit suicide.

If not for anything, I am more than happy you didn't do it as this would have only compounded the troubles for your loved ones without refunding your lost cash.

that the future holds more than what I lost.

Exactly, there is more to come both in life and in finance. Thank you for sharing your story with us.