The Cards we are Dealt

in Freewriters3 months ago

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Deal, a verb; past tense dealt.

Deal: to distribute (cards) in an orderly rotation to players for a game or round.

I was watching an episode of a TV show and this post’s title phrase came up. For context, this show was set in the 1800’s. The phrase was said by a blind traveling musician. She said and I quote, “...these are the cards that I’ve been dealt, this is my fate”. She said this when asked about her condition and her job. Judging from the statement, it seems she had come to terms with her condition. The show never specifies if she was born that way or not. But later in the show, we find out that she is depressed; she mentions it while fighting with one of the main characters. She also mentions never being loved and having to give up her child because of her condition, so the fact that she is blind might not have been the cause of her depression.

Nevertheless, her situation intrigues me. Is it possible to come to terms with a permanent condition? It affects one's everyday life, do you even have a choice? Don’t you just have to accept it regardless? What would not accepting it even look like? In her case how does one accept a condition that makes them unhappy?

Her statement brings out two important aspects of life; life is random, and life is unfair. By saying the phrase, ‘these are the cards that I’ve been dealt’, she acknowledges (and maybe accepts) the unfairness of life. This phrase is usually said when you are in a situation with multiple disadvantages, this could be seen as how she feels about her condition. Next, she says that ‘this is my fate’; she is accepting that the condition, like fate, is unchangeable and out of her control. She is right. Life is random, unexpected, and unexplainable. Sadly, there are some things that are definitely out of our control.

The prayer of serenity could be applied here; its theme is a prayer to God for help in accepting what is out of our control, focusing on what we can control, and knowing the difference between the two. In general, this makes sense but would you be able to say that to this lady? Would you expect her to live by this mantra?

Maybe coming to terms with one’s condition means more than accepting it.

Why does a predicament (like an incurable disease) destroy one’s view of the world? If the world is seemingly random and unfair it can’t possibly hate you. At the same time, depending on the condition/disease/predicament, the world might view and treat you differently, in turn changing your views. Does ‘coming to terms’ mean overcoming this new view the world has of you?

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There's a slightly overused parable about some ancient chinese farmer and his apparent stoicism towards fate. He loses a horse and in turn makes everybody wonder why he doesn't seem stressed about it. His response? You never know. Later the lost horse returns, with a bunch of wild ones in tow. But the farmer doesn't feel like celebrating either. Because, you never know. Then his son gets bucked and breaks his leg. Same answer, you just never know. Ultimately the army rolls into town and drafts all the young men, but sparing the injured son. You never know, and so on and so on.

Judging from the story life seems like a neverending cascade of therefor and thens. Things go up, things go down, but you never what what stroke of fate might turn out to be a blessing in disguise and vice versa. I figure the morale of the story isn't exactly about being comfortably numb, but not going crazy in the face of change. That said, I like the whole Dylan Thomas thing about raging against the dying of the light. On the other hand, the sun doesn't care about a rooster standing on a dung heap, burning and raving at close of day. It's romantic, but there's things that can't be changed by sentiment, or attitude for that matter. Doesn't matter how strong you feel about it. Your feelings won't stop the sun from setting.

Oh by the way, your text reminded me of that old Kenny Rogers song that used gambling as a metaphor for life:

Wow, couldn’t have been said better. I’m guessing your first paragraph is how she feels when she accepts her fate. On the line of stoicism, she did come off as emotionless in the show.

Oh I’ve heard a snippet of this song before, never the full version though. Pretty good messaging. Thanks for the reply!

 3 months ago (edited)

My pleasure!

And hey, do you remember the title of the show? You mentioned some details but no names. I would like to check it out.

My bad. Samurai champloo, it’s an anime. The scenes I refer to happens in Ep 20 and 21. The show is only one season but I don’t think you need to watch the previous episodes to get the gist of things. Each episode is pretty self contained. It’s a great show though if you’re in for it.

No worries :-)

I'm not super big into anime but Samurai Champloo and Cowboy Bebop are great. Space Dandy, too. Rewatched a few episodes a week or two ago. Mainly the baseball game and the one with the mushrooms. There was another show I liked... What was the name... Paranoia Agent. That's it.

Keep writing!

 3 months ago 

emotionless? Doesn't that say it all?

 3 months ago 

I read you but for now I 'm not going to answer since you are already in a great chat and I still have a lot to type. A great weekend to you!

 3 months ago (edited)

You too :-)!

Hi @ahlonzo

I found your reflection very interesting, I was also curious. In some way you give prominence to the “destiny that deals us the cards” in the game (of life), as if it were the cards themselves that will make you a winner or a loser.

I invite you to consider the following, how important it is to learn to play with the cards we have. Or have you not seen players with magnificent hands who lose? Players with very bad cards who end up winning the game?

One of the greatest examples of this, I believe, is Victor Frankl

Wow, it's funny that you mention a Victor Frankl interview, @yacksylondon just recommended one of his books to me. Must be a great man.

I agree with you, at the end of the day it's up to the player, regardless of the cards given. The point I'm trying to make is that if you are given really bad cards in life it is easy to focus on the negatively, especially if the impact is daily. And, although necessary, it is hard to let them know they can have a fulfilling life despite any disadvantages. Everybody should be told this, its just not an easy message to hear or accept.



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Fecha de verificación:2 de octubre de 2024

Número de palabras 50+: Sí
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Observación: La vida es sorpresiva, impresionante, grande, pero a la vez con matices débiles y perturbadores.

El link 1 y el link 2 llevan al mismo comentario.

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Feliz día gracias por pasar.
Corregido el link n° 2.

Gracias

 3 months ago 

No, it is not possible to accept and the main problem isn't because you don't have what other "have" but because society will always interfere and tell you you are inferior. They decide if you are able to live alone, can raise a child or whatever it is that is on your path. If you would live alone in the forest like Nell (film) you could take life as it is.
It doesn't surprise me she is depressed but since the show must go on you get situations like this where people lie they accept whatever they should accept because life is great, a gift and of course the life of others suck so much more than your own (really? How come no one says: Indeed you have a heavy burden, it sucks to be your because there are many who do have a way better life than you and they don't have to pretend they accepted the fact they are limited in everything they undertake).

Welcome to the free writers. I wish you a great weekend.

If you like you can also use the hashtag #noclub
The curators of October might find your posts this way.

Yeah I thought as much. Society’s view of you in turn changes your view. And yes they also do have a say in your life regardless of how you feel.

Thanks it’s good to be here.

About the hashtag, I’ll put it in my next post but can I edit it into this one? Would there be any problems with that?

 3 months ago 

you can always edit your posts and that's what I do and most likely keep doing. It's the only way to be found. Keep in mind the first 4 hashtags count. Use them to promote your content.