Though at a point, I got frightened each time I had a mental picture of the possibility of co-habiting with a stranger, different family, different culture, sometimes if not an entirely different lingua franca, but a conspicuous variation in our own dialect.

Other times, I began to imagine the possibility of having a responsibility beyond my nuclear family.

Encouragements from people

A first born in a family of six children, three men and three women and about thirty years old. My mother, Mrs Cecilia O. Anyanwu, my maternal uncle, late Nze Andrew Onuoha as well as my Godfather late Catechist Andrew Kemdirim took it upon themselves to be reminding me that I was ripe to settle down with a spouse and start a home.

That of my maternal uncle was more challenging because it came with all kinds of proverbs. At a point he said the entire family will give express approval whoever I presented to them, no matter the tribe and or nationality.

I had, meanwhile asked my immediate younger brother Jude N. Anyanwu to go ahead and marry if he was interested. He bluntly refused to go into any serious relationship with any lady, stressing that he was eager to see the kind of woman I would marry before making any move.

Essentially, two of our younger sisters, Paulina Ebem and Isabella Ugwu got married immediately after their Senior School Certificate Examinations, while the last girl, Annunciata was engaged as an under graduate of the University of Nigeria Nsukka.

Married at last

I did finally make up my mind in the mid nineties to settle down with a spouse - having been attracted to a humane, humble, motherly and caring Secondary School tutor Mrs Cecilia Nwanganga Anyanwu, Nee Nwankwo, a Princess from the famous late Chief James Ogbuu Nwankwo in Ibeku Umuahia, Abia state.

In her was a mother, a sister and a wife encapsulated. What is more, she came into my life when I was at a cross road. My life was crisis ridden. I was at the verge of loosing focus and direction.

Unfortunately, as if a trumpet was blown for suitors from every corner of the globe, all trooping and seeking her hand in marriage. And without mincing words, I was, if not the poorest among these interlopers, almost lost grip of her.

Consequently, in a space of three weeks, I completed the traditional rites in the month of October, traditional marriage in December and Church wedding in January.

Our marital challenge

Our marriage was greeted with childlessness for several years. This awful situation led us to visiting many Doctors, orthodox, herbalists, physiotherapists, psychologists, pastors, prophets, Rabais among others. This lasted for six years before God Almighty in His infinite mercy blessed us with Anne Chizurumoke and Pius Nnaemeka respectively

L-R: Chizurum my daughter, myself, my wife and Nnaemeka my son

The good news emanating from my experience is that several couples testified from a distance that they were surprised to see me and my spouse live like Siamese twins, even in our condition.

My Advice to potential couples

I have always advised both married and intending couples that marriage is a serious business that requires patience, tolerance, commitment, faithfulness to God Almighty and discipline. I have come to realize that marriage is not for babies, but for emotionally and psychologically matured minds.

As I write this article, I and my spouse are bridal parents to three very matured and happy families; Pastor and Mrs Paul Ubani, Mr and Mrs Joachim Osuigwe and Engr and Mrs Chinedu Emenyonu respectively.

Each time any of these our bridal children had challenges, they always run to us or we go, meeting them in their various homesteads for advise and or guidance. None has ever regretted choosing us, as poor as we are, despite the preponderance of several personalities with huge resources to be their marriage God parents.That is what the amazing grace of God can do in the life of those who diligently seek Him.So far, we have been doing our best in bringing up our children to be useful to themselves and society at large.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I will continue to seek the face of God in my daily activities to ensure that, both in secret and open, nothing makes me deviate from the articles of Oath of commitment I recited on my wedding day!