STEEM INSPIRATION CONTEST @festchuks : FREEDOM AT LAST

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The past, a place that doesn’t exist in our current reality, but a stream of memory that lives on in the present of our very existence.

It hunts me; it calls to me...

I have done terrible things, I have been a terrible person. And ultimately, I have been consumed by a demon which I call; “My precious addiction”.

Have I been set free?

Well…

I believe that is left for you to conclude in the end…

My name is Festus Okogeri and this is my precious demon:

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MY ADDICTION (ALCOHOL AND A GIRL)

Here I am in my mind, walking down memory lane, 5 years ago, twice more unwise as I am today.
The month of March. In the year 2015. I can smell the March breeze in the air. Oh, yes… that is when it all began! It is clear to me now.

Remember, my name is Festus.

HOW IT BEGAN

In Edo State Nigeria, Benin city to be more precise, is where I met her for the first time, one of the girls with the most beautiful lips I had ever seen or kissed.

Seeing her as she walked to withdraw money from an ATM machine at First Bank Plc, Ugbowo, Benin city was like watching the sun set for eight hours straight. Oh, such beauty!

Her name, for anonymous sake, let’s just call her “Cleopatra” as a method of reference (Note: that is not her original name).

I met Cleopatra for the first time on March 2015. And as a shy unconfident, unwise and nerd guy, It was hard to believe that a girl like that would be the first to talk to me.
I mean, Cleopatra was actually the one that spoke to me first,
and she said, while I was queuing in the long line waiting to withdraw money from an ATM machine:

“I was in the line before you. Do you mind?”

Me stammering;
“oh yes, I didn’t meet you here, but of course.”

Well that is the day it all began; the bad habit, the change in my positive point of view to something I call perspective negativity and my life and character.

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CHANGE

It all changed when I met Cleopatra. You know what people would say about how bad association corrupts good habits? Yeah, that was my case.

I fell in love with Cleopatra and she in return claimed to love me too, Cleopatra loved to drink.
She loved to drink a lot. Trust me, Cleopatra loved to drink.

After a couple of months into us being together and doing what couples do; making love, eating together, sleeping together and even going to church together.

I found out that the least amount of beer I consumed per morning each day was six bottles. And per day, I could consume up to almost two creates or exactly two creates of beer with her.

We where spending a lot of money which she usually got from her sugar daddy, she specially called the man “My Oatmeal” I honestly don’t know what that pet name means or meant but at that point, I never even cared to ask. I cared most about her sugar daddy bringing in money for our drinks.

I often got very jealous and even had a lot of fights with her because I thought she genuinely loved him with the amount of time they spend together and of course, I understood it was the small price I had to pay for many free drinks.

I was literarily drunk every day. I drank, partied, drank again, partied, drank again and partied till I threw up.
It started becoming a problem because I got even more addicted to drinking than Cleopatra.

I got often wasted to the extent that I peed anywhere, pooped anywhere, vomited anywhere and annoyed everyone every time.
People started to think I was crazy because I was drunk all the time.

I started acting abnormal because of this demon that hunted me - I call my addiction. Cleopatra starts over complaining that I am no longer myself anymore, that I’ve changed.

She threatened she was going to leave me if I didn’t return back to be the guy she used to love. I didn’t want her to leave me because at that point I was over addicted to her just like I was addicted to over drinking. I could barely go 3hours without being with her, I was crazy over her - I was obsessed!

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HOW I GOT OUT AND BROKE FREE

This is the part that gets really interesting; Cleopatra then started to avoid me, my family tried to help me, but I pushed them away and i ran away from them too, then they started to look for me. But I was too smart to be found. Unbelievable right?

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After putting me in this mess, you mean you’re leaving me now?

After Cleopatra finally left me, it occurred to me, it became worse, my drinking habit became worse and my depression became even worse. I started taking loans and borrowing money just to satisfy my undying urge to drink. I was like an alcoholic vampire.

The hunger never stopped. I was at the highest point of depression because now; I was in debt, I pushed my family away, the people that cared for me, all the people I called my friends; all stayed away from me because of how toxic I had become. I became an embarrassment to my family.

I tried to stop over drinking and break from the habit, but it seemed that the more I tried to stop, the more I wanted to drink and take some more shots! It felt like I was possessed because I didn't have control over myself.

After so many failed attempts to stop drinking, I knew that the only person that could save me at that point was my "God". If God wasn’t going to help me; I was literarily going to take my life…

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THE LIGHT

I prayed to my God on a Saturday morning. It was on a November 2015. And I said these very few and simple words, with the last drop of hope i did not even have in left in me;

“God please, if truly you exist - help me.”

The day I made that prayer was on a Saturday morning by 10am and somehow, the urge to drink reduced.

Throughout the rest of that day, I only drank half a bottle of “Smirnoff vodka” (I mean, I needed some shots for my sins at least).

The following day which was a Sunday, I went to a Winners Chapel Branch church A.K.A. Living Faith Church close to my house at isihor, Benin city. Edo State. There I committed my life to Christ, started engaging in spiritual activities, seminars and becoming very productive.

Then I stopped drinking, I stopped partying and my addiction for Cleopatra came to an end. My soul was healed, my body was healed, my mind was healed, and I believe I have been cleansed by a supernatural force beyond what we all can understand.

I then became a teacher in order to help the weak know what they are ignorant of, a musician; for in each of my raps and songs, I talk about this demon that hunted me and a way to escape them, and I always sang about the mistakes of my past.

I try to encourage people with my music and my writing but they may never know why until they know my past.

THIS IS MY DEMON…

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