Pepper Is Home Again for One Last Time

Pepper's Spirit Never Left Us ..

Pepper's spirit never left us and of that we are sure, however, his little body did. Today our hearts rest easier, knowing that his ashes are now back home with our family. Dropping his limp body off to our veterinarian, the day he passed, was extremely difficult. It was so intensely difficult to let him go. My emotions were all over the place, and all I knew and wanted to do, was to hold him and never let him go. The rational side of my brain told me that I had to let him go, but my heart held on.

The last ten days have been brutal. We cried more than an human should. We consoled each other and held each other, all the while holding on to our memories of Pepper. We've been smiling more and the initial shock and sting of loosing him, has retreated a small amount. This past weekend and the last few days, I was thinking more about his tiny body and thinking about the phone call that was coming. The call that would tell me that it was time to pick up his ashes. That call came yesterday.

I Wasn't Prepared ..

I wasn't as prepared for it as I thought I was going to be. I welled up with tears as soon as I hung up the phone. I think the young lady on the other end of the line could hear the trembling in my voice, that I was trying to keep hidden. She never once made me feel silly or irrational, but rather was consoling and took pity given the uncomfortable nature one would expect accompanies them in making such a call.

I spent the rest of the day preparing myself emotionally, knowing that I would be making the trip to retrieve what remains of our baby boy. I really don't know what I was expecting. When I arrived, I was the only one in the parking lot. Thank goodness, because the tears came on again without warning. I pulled myself together and waited for the same young lady I spoke to earlier in the day, to come out with Pepper.

I watched her as she slowly walked toward the front doors to the rather monochromatic structure I was parked in front of. She gracefully made her exit carrying a small white box, smaller than a box of tissues. She was coddling it within her small arms, holding it close to her chest. She didn't rush the short walk from the doors to my car. She seemed to be thinking about every step as she took them, and afraid to offend me with anything other than slow and steady movements. It only took me a few seconds to realize that this was, in some form, a funeral procession; A slow, methodical, compassionate passing of remains back to his family.

She gently handed the box to me, as my hands reached out for it. It was with grace and a slight smile of sympathy, that the young lady said that she was sorry for our loss. She didn't linger, and I can't blame her.. I would of made a quick exit as well if I were in her shoes. Before starting the car, I sat with a few residual tears in my eyes. I wiped them aside and placed the box on the passenger side seat. I had a memory of him sitting there, to excited to sit, and ready to be taken wherever daddy was heading. He eventually would find his way to my lap, so that's where I placed him for the last trip home.

When I Arrived Home ..

When I arrived home, my wife and I opened the white, cardboard box. Inside was a beautiful cherry colored wooden box, accented with a gold colored lock and key. Pepper's ashes rested peacefully within the six sides of the smooth reddish colored wood.

There was also a small round clay disk with a paw print on it. We asked for this and I am glad we did. Although it imitatively brought tears to our eyes, it also provided a little spark of happiness to my soul. For me it was his last little mark on this world, and he always loved leaving his mark. I will cherish having it.

A certificate of cremation was the last item pulled out of the box. It was accompanied by the 'Rainbow Bridge' poem. I never get tired of reading it, and somehow it always manages to put a slight smile on my face.

Molly Wanted Nothing To Do With This Strange Box ..

She sat far enough away from it as possible without risk of it attacking her. Molly is not fond of anything new. If it's edible, then she is right there waiting to check it out. Obviously we don't want her eating Pepper's ashes and she has no interest in them, so all is good. I did my best to capture the moment without causing too much drama for her.

I know it's sort of cliche, but we want to keep Pepper's ashes on the fireplace mantle in our family room. He spent much of his day in this room, as we all do, so we thought it was the perfect spot for now. Melissa and I want to pick the perfect picture to go along side of him. We will pick it out together and frame it up, so we can look at buddy boy's face when we feel like we need a reminder.

For now I set it next to a friendship candle that was gifted to us by a close friend. The inscription is perfect.. "Friendship is a flame that burns in our hearts forever." Pepper, you will remain in our hearts forever and ever.

I Will Always Cherish Memories Of Pepper ..

I will always cherish my memories of Pepper and our shared fascination with Orchids. I wanted to share this last picture with you, because it is also sort of befitting of his nature. I placed his ashes next to one of the Orchid plants. He was always so stinking curious of those Orchids whenever I would bring them home. He also took part of the blame for buying more and more of them. After all, his curiosity and infatuation with them made it all that more exciting for me.

He was such a good sport about having his picture taken with them as soon as I brought them through the door. I will miss that in my life.

Thank you for swinging by my blog and checking out the post. Have a great day!

“To be, or not to be: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.--Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd!”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

All words, pictures and art pieces are the sole property of B D Miller Gallery, unless otherwise noted and credited, and are not to be reproduced or copied without the prior written consent of B D Miller Gallery.

Originally posted to peaked, but shared here for my steemit friends