Quiet Summer Rain

It has been raining steadily for a couple of days now. Even though this region is often referred to as "the rainy Pacific Northwest," our summers are typically quite dry... and going through July and August without more than a couple of brief showers is quite normal.

There is something very peaceful about the sound of soft summer rain; the dripping from the trees and reflections from wet surfaces. Unlike rain during the rest of the year, summer rains are rarely accompanied by wind, so there is a sort of stillness in the air.

I never minded the rain, as a kid... and I still don't.

As often as not, I find rainy days to be perfect times for reflection and meditation. When I was a kid and young adult, I spent a lot of time at my Auntie's house in Denmark and she taught me to just "sit and see", out on the back terrace, both when it was raining, and otherwise.

In retrospect it almost seems odd, given that ADHD has always been a part of my life... but somehow I found peace and stillness in watching the rain fall and drip from the thatched roof of the house.

In a way, the current rains are almost like a "treat," in the sense that it's a rarity... during the past four days something on the order of three times the normal August rainfall has fallen. No deluge, just steady non-stop rain.

As I have been reflecting, the concept of "regret" often eats at the corners of my mind.

Regret is a useless emotion...

I think most of us can go back through our lives and identify a myriad "choicepoints" where we went left rather than right... and speculate on the path not taken. What would have happened? What would the outcome have been?

We'll never really know... and how would we even identify the "insertion point" that would actually have made the difference we might have dreamed of?

Eventually we come to realize that what could have been different isn't the outcome, but ourselves - the person making the choices.

I look back, and perhaps what I regret is so often feeling swept along by life and other people's forceful opinions, rather than more forcefully arguing my own case. Then again, maybe that's something we all consider sometimes. I don't know...

Still, is anyone truly capable of not only standing in their own authentic truth all the time, let alone knowing what that truth is?

I have my doubts...

I have always self-identified as an idealistic dreamer, and perhaps I had wildly unrealistic hopes for what life and everything in it might turn out to be... and so, I set myself up for a fair amount of disappointment.

It was not as I had hoped it would be...

Whether it was love, or work, or matters of the spirit, I soon discovered how crude, rough and uncaring people could be. Again, maybe we all learn that particular lesson...

Although I often allude to having grown cynical, I still choose to believe in the magic life offers, and that the possibility of something better being around the next corner. It kept me feom offing myself from my teenage years forward, and later in life it has served to keep the black dog of depression at bay.

We all carry our scars...

And now? I sit and watch the raindrops quietly fall, accepting simply what is.

And that's OK.

Thanks for stopping by and have a great Sunday!

How about you? Do you experience regrets in life? Are there things you wish you could go back and change? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 2024.08.25 01:18PDT
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