My year 2020steemCreated with Sketch.

in WORLD OF XPILAR4 years ago

A year never to be forgotten

And what a year 2020 has become. A year that will go into the history books never to be forgotten. A year in which a trend of loss was already set on December 21, 2019. The end of 2019 when I had to say goodbye to my most loyal friend Rowan, and that loss makes 2020 already started in a strange way. The first turn of the year in 11 years without Rowan. The days marked with grief for his loss ...

Straight into my heart

And during the grief of this great loss, my heart spontaneously opened to a photo that I came across on the internet. A beautiful 1 year young German Shepherd who was looking for a new home. A dog with behavioral problems that made it impossible for him to stay with the people where he lived. The photo I saw on the internet struck a nerve with me, and I couldn't stop looking at him. It looked like I saw a young Rowan sitting there. The way of looking was the same, and of course it was a different dog, but the feeling he belonged to me got stronger and stronger.


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A stormy introduction

After a week of doubts I decided to contact his owners and we agreed to meet. A stormy Sunday in February, and a stormy introduction to never forget. There he was, Skipper ... Young, strong, wild, beautiful, very sweet ... and he bit my hand. His reaction to Myla was so strong that he couldn't control himself. And with that, I had immediately seen him at his worst and knew I had to give this dog another chance. Yes even after he reflexively bit my hand I fell for him spontaneously… and he stayed the same day.

Lana in Heat!

The first week was exciting, and just as things were finally starting to get better with Lana and Myla and Skipper, another thing happened that I hadn't taken into account. Lana was in heat! For three weeks I had to split in two to keep Skipper and Lana separate, and then we had to start over with the bond between the dogs. Poor Skipper, he had changed within 1 month from a young insecure teenager to a dog who learned to be a MAN, but he still had to learn to trust me. He was certainly sweet, but also uncertain and confused about what his place in this house was now… and not yet sure whether he could trust me, whether he really belonged here. When Lana's heat was finally over, we could finally start with that all-important confidence training.

The freedom we all took for granted was gone!

Meanwhile, the Covid-19 took hold and took hold of the whole world. Country after country where the borders closed. The free movement of goods and people, which was suddenly no longer possible for the first time in years. You suddenly lost the freedom that we all take for granted, and the way you interact with each other suddenly changed into a detachment that is unparalleled. People who used to just stand next to each other now jump back in alarm when you get too close, where you are used to looking at each other's facial expressions you now suddenly see only mouth masks ...

Financial set back

The dog training that I had wanted to follow with Skipper could not continue at all because the Netherlands was also locked. And that wasn't all I had to deal with. Where after years of doubts and financial uncertainty I finally got a bit of solid ground again through photography assignments, this again completely disappeared, and I was back to square one. The photo club that I had finally joined was also no longer allowed to continue with meetings, and with this I fell into a negative spiral… my inspiration and motivation to keep taking pictures has disappeared like snow in the sun. Because once again I was thrown back on myself and am again in the same situation as has been the case for the past six years. Every day the same environment, every day is the same ... And in terms of photography, I am on my own.


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Back to a life at home with the dogs

Since June there has been a small car in the driveway again… but because finances are a problem again, I can't just grab the car to take pictures in a different environment. Although I would love to do it, it is not working yet.

My days are again filled with dogs, and… dogs. And where I had hoped to make nice trips again in 2020, I still spend my days on the same few square kilometers around my house. That something like this can kill your inspiration is not strange I think.

Yet 2020 is not by definition just bad ...


Digital Art!

Because in 2020 I discovered that I really enjoy digital art to deepen my knowledge. I finally started making digital paintings and of course I found a great dog friend again.

Not depressed because I'm used to living an isolated existence

Fortunately, the depressions that many people suffered from during the Covid lockdowns passed my door and that is entirely due to the fact that I have been used to an isolated existence. That part hasn't changed all that much for me, which is why I was able to handle the distance, isolation and thus the fear of being alone that many people experience much better.

It's not over yet

I also foresee major problems for 2021 because even though the vaccinations have now been approved, the Covid really will not disappear from our lives, or from our routine. First, it will take a long time for everyone to be vaccinated IF that ever happens at all. There are plenty of people who do not want to be vaccinated, or may not be. And yet… I am still making plans for a sparkling 2021.

New projects in my mind

I hope to gain some foothold financially with another project. A project that I am looking forward to, which has digital art and writing in it, and my dogs. Because my dogs were a certainty in my life in 2020… and will be in 2021!

Never forget

So while 2020 was a WEIRD year, it wasn't necessarily a bad year. It's a year to remember, and a year to remember when you take your freedom for granted once again. A year to look back on if you think traveling is normal, a year to think back on if you think your health is self-evident ...


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Let 2021 be a year of LOVE, a year of HOPE.



2020 has made it clear to everyone that your life as you know it can change from one day to the next. Let's all try to make 2021 unforgettable as well, but in connection and being together.

We wish you a very happy New Year's Eve… it will be quiet for many people, but you are not alone.

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Thank you for your reply @niniveh29112.

Yes the grievance is hard to go through, and yet the excitement for another dog who needs a home took over ... of course I'll never forget Rowan. But Skipper sure made it easier to deal with the loss.

I will use the tag next time ... as I often enough write about my dogs. Thanks for the reminder!

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Your post was upvoted by the @art-venture account after manual review. Support of Visual Artworks and Photogrpahy on Steem by @stef1 and @art-venture

Thank you @hetty-rowan for this nice story of your year. Like you I really like the picture of the German Shepherd, he looks very cute and ready to play. Seeing that there are two more dogs I was impressed with you and your dedication. The dogs really might take the whole free time of you. But on other hand it is a lot of satisfaction too.

I am glad to know that you found another hobby in digital Art. Art is wonderful and you can develop the skills if regular practicing.

I am wishing you the best with dog school hopefully coming year and also with your digital Art :)

Merry Christmas!

Thank you @stef1 for your reply. Yes the dogs are a very big part of my life. They do take all the free time, and yes it's a lot of work, but also so much satisfaction when you see them happy and enjoying their lives.

Oh yes, digital art is a wonderful thing, and I wanted to do it for years and years now. But never found the time, nor the focus to develop the skills needed. For photography I used photoshop a lot, but never in the way that is used to create really digital art. What I wanted to do is start from zero, really draw everything myself, or paint from zero. Now with Krita I found the software that is perfect for me to use for this goal. And if I say so myself ... its not that bad ...

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Merry Christmas to you too

That is absolutely amazing, such beautiful misty effect at bottom of mountains and the far away trees. Beautiful and fairy-tale like :)

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 4 years ago 

Congratulations, your post has been upvoted by @scilwa, which is a curating account for @R2cornell's Discord Community. We can also be found on our hive community & peakd as well as on my Discord Server

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Thank you! Very much appreciated