This really hits home for me @denmarkguy and such a fascinating prospect... one which I know for certain I am guilty of in certain facets of my life, as likely most of us are to some degree or another... but it particularly rings true to me when thinking about my three older brothers and their perceptions of our parents.

Time and time again I have been witness to them putting one or both of my parents under character assassination because of all the emotional baggage they, as men carry today.

Whilst I, coming from the same family... do have an understanding for where they come from and can empathise through my own perspective of those same experiences / years, what I don't understand is how they seem to have somewhat "rooted" themselves in the past.

Blame is the name of the game and as I think most of us know... this achieves nothing but a viscious circle. They are stuck in a place where they blame all of their short comings on my parents for one reason or another. They simultaneously seem to hold on to views of my dad for instance, as he was 30+ years ago.

Sure, fundamentally he is the same person but the thing is... people change. People grow... or at least they should anyway - I kinda think that is the point of this exercise here on our little green earth, lol

But hiding behind the mask of blame in order to continue justifying your actions as an adult, is just crazy. Yes, there is baggage, yes there are scars and all of that but like you mentioned in your story... when you make an active effort to start a healing journey then you start to see things from a completely different perspective and suddenly it won't seem quite as justified to keep demonizing the other party.

I cannot really say I have seen much progress of this from any of them, except the eldest... who is well into his 50's... but I do remain hopeful that they too will make some kind of turnaround like your friend did.

I do not proclaim to be guilt free or innocent in this regard at all, but I do believe that I am at least trying to heal one baby step at a time :)

A great piece, as always! xxx
and I hope your new week is looking lighter!