Reflections - Dancing around Honesty, Vulnerability, and Balance...
Sometimes I start to think that I write here just for the sake of writing. Yet, whenever there's a gap in my writings, something begins to bother me—an urge to write, to confess, to release, to interact. The interaction part is the trickiest. I want you people to read me, talk to me through the keys, relate to my writing, criticize me, sing with me... That feeling is something I can't put into words...
I do feel guilty sometimes for not getting back to you in a timely manner. I try to reply to each one of you and comment on each of my author's posts, but time gets in my way. After all, I have only 24 hours at my disposal. I have to feed the kids, meet people, do my chores, and recently I've noticed a weight gain... I'm spending a little too much time on the computer. I need to get out a little more. But that doesn't mean that I want to write less... it just means I want to find a better balance!
Why? Else these things will be reflected in my writings... The urgency to complete a passage... The not paying attention to smaller, important details, the abrupt endings... Because, I am like an open book and you, my readers, will read me in a split of a second. I would never want that to happen.
... And that's when I am in awe of the active authors here, who keep replying, commenting, and posting round the clock. Maybe they became experienced with time. Maybe they are better writers than I am. Or maybe they are managing their time in a much better way!
Then there are authors I really admire because they seemingly don't get stuck in the process; everything just flows naturally from them. That's me most of the time, but there's always an inner voice, rather a loud one, that tells me to be more mindful and sensible: "Hey Maan, don't you sound gibberish... Stop, please just stop here... Re-think for a second..." So, I stop writing, go do something else, and come back later to read what I've written. Most of the time, I end up editing many details. Yes, I am guilty of succumbing to those inhibitions.
But I would say your subconscious, if you really believe in it, makes decisions on your behalf and sometimes lets you do a better job of writing when you are not consciously thinking about it. If I'm being honest, I used this approach more in the beginning when writing on Steemit. Nowadays, I am being a little more careful with what I write. Maybe that number of 70 (you have to guess what I'm talking about) or another role here has made me more conscious of my writing style. And no, it's not a bad thing. It shouldn't be a bad thing. You keep evolving, you keep changing. And for the most part, it's for the good!
And yet another thing that I somewhat struggle with is vulnerability. A lot of writing involves vulnerability, whether it's fiction or non-fiction. Many authors here have bravely laid bare their wounds and souls for us to read. I truly commend you all; it's not an easy thing to do!
When writing about a personal experience, I also try to be open with you. In some senses, this is easy; however, no one would deny that expressing happiness is easier than expressing, say, a traumatic experience or jealousy.
There is no other way around the fact that vulnerability is what makes your writing relatable. If you are true to yourself, you are true to your reader too. But another fact remains true also! Is it an easy thing to do? Will people not judge you for laying out your weakness in open? Worse: you have people here who might know you personally....
Am I there yet? No, I definitely am not. I have been honest, I have been vulnerable, I have been true—but I am not yet there. I maneuver around some details, I sugarcoat some bitterness, I close my eyes to some dangers, I try to dodge some bullets... But one thing is for sure - NEVER DO I LIE! No, I have not given myself this option.
That's all for my reflective writing today. Please come and have a little chat about these thoughts. I would be more than thankful!
Yours truly,
Maan
We change over time here at Steemit. At first, I tried to hide my identity and the details of my life in every possible way. Why? It's a mystery even to me. I am quite an average person and I did not think that my life could be interesting to someone. At that time, I wrote mostly short posts and had a lot of time to comment.
Eventually, I opened up completely and began to write openly about myself. At the same time, I took on many different responsibilities and the time for commenting became much less. But this does not mean that I have become less fond of communicating with people 🙂
Honesty... Honesty can be felt even through the text. If you write from the heart, your readership will grow rapidly. But you know it perfectly well 😁
Balance between real life and Steemit responsibilities. Well, it's complicated. For me, Steemit is a favorite hobby, so real life always takes precedence. But the status of a favorite hobby allows Steemit to take most of my free time 😄
Thank you so much for gracing my post today. I understand that you have many responsibilities (even if they stem from a healthy hobby), and now that I'm in your shoes a bit, I see how adept you are at balancing and managing your time.
I like your approach here on Steemit. However consider changing your profile picture now and the. I would very much like that. Lol. We want to see more of you!!! Just kidding
I think a true author is always true to their writings. Else their words will lose their worth. However I still feel like an imposter sometimes... I want to open up more, but, there is some kind of reluctance in me. Maybe with time, it will go away. Or it may never!
Yes, this picture is really out of date. On the other hand, everyone is used to it 😁. Maybe you are right and I should think about changing the picture. 🤔
I think I'm the only one who knows you here personally, right? You know that I won't judge you. I am not judgemental at heart. Even if I were, or there were other people, I would say, never limit your thoughts or potential for anyone. (:
As for the balance part - it is necessary. When I'm glued to computer 24x7, I don't feel productive and get hit with writer's block. Life outside Steem is more important because the real life experiences act as a fuel for writing and blogging.
And the number 70.... (:
As your readership grows, you automatically feel conscious of what you write. It's a good thing, in my opinion. (:
I know. I may have introduced a few more people here... And some of them are not even authors. But you know that they can access my blogs any time.
Yes, that's the approach. Like I don't know how to be anything else other than myself.
It's for my own... Not even for the judgement part, but for my own comfort level. But you know how expressive I am... If only I could filter my thoughts (and my mouth) enough, I would have avoided many of the issues in my life (outside the Steemit) lol 😂😂😂
You are expressive and thoughtful at the same time. The two qualities that I lack but I admire a lot in you. If someone has issues with this in your life outside Steem, I'm sure they need some introspection. 😜
I was talking to bhabhi today about you two and was thinking if y'all are ever in Karachi, maybe we could meet? It'd be fun 😃
The last time I was in Karachi, I met a bunch of Steemians. I won't mind another meetup. (:
Although I don't know if me and @soulfuldreamer will ever get to visit Karachi together.
Sure do let me know when you're in Karachi. We'll definitely plan something out.
I have some solo travel plans for the first week of July. I'll try to visit your city as well. Where are two living atm? (You can text me this on discord)
Hum dunya k nayaaab konay mey rehtay heinn
Wairan janglon mey.... Raigistano mey 😂
A meetup is a good idea though. I will take event-horizon with me if I ever visit karachi. Will definitely love to meet you and kinza there :)
100% upvotes from me and @soulfuldreamer if you guess the place. 😅
Ok let me try, I'll ask @kinzaghauri for help. She has probably lived there as well xDd. Some clues???
@event-horizon @soulfuldreamer
Clue#1: I'm sure, she hasn't. 😀
Hahahaha, I knowwww but abhi kidher reh rahe hain aap log.
Konse cantt men 😂
Apni apni amma k ghar 😉
I need cluessss. Aapki amma ka ghar konse soobe men hai?
I'm not in the town and she will probably be not there as well during that time span. :/
With this things u mentioned, I expected the weight to loss cos of your busy schedule not the other way round!! Hope you haven’t be taken a bite from the kids food alongside with your own food??…lol.
I know of two authors like that.. @weisser-rabe and @wakeupkitty. I come across your post once in awhile and the few I’ve read from you, I have know doubt that you are in there category!! I think you ladies are born writers that’s why the words flow in like water.
Also speaking about vulnerability, content writers use it a lot when they want to sell their products. I rarely see that on Steemit.
Thank you so much, sbamsoneu, for stopping by my post today. I am incredibly grateful!
Rest assured, there is no weight loss. And yes, I might have taken a bite from my kids' food or even their dad's food. 😂
The two authors you mentioned, @wiesser-rabe and @wakeupkitty, are undoubtedly excellent in terms of flow, richness of words, and smooth transitions between paragraphs. I would like to point out that they have a strong presence here. You can expect them to drop by, comment, and engage in debates with you any day. One of the healthiest debates I've had so far was with wiesser-rabe. I still cherish our exchange on the topic of desensitization. She never strays even a bit from the main context.
And I have read you also, now and then. You, yourself are no less of a writer :)
I am in a category? I just subscribed for a solo trip 😁
🍀❤️
Oh yes! We support ANY quality post and good comment
ANYWHERE and at ANYTIME
Curated by : @patjewell
How can one not "lie" when the truth is unknown to all.
Still, there are a few truths and one of them is there are brilliant idiots. For example, I could take photos of those who call forth whirlwinds of chaos every day, well nearly every day. I could go and follow those who invoke the baalim as they ride across the desert and the straight walled columns of dust and matter circle.
I could talk about that it was beautiful, calm, and peaceful a few minutes ago before the sorcerous turned the peace reflection to a maelstrom.
I could catalog how a rain storm moves in and the wicked ply their trade to stop the storm and dissipate, destroy the rain storm in photographs marked with time so that the obvious would be so visible to even the lowest of intellect and untrained observer.
Instead, I remember one thing: the Creator is the giver and keeper of life.
TEAM 5
Sometimes, when I'm writing and reach a point where I want to pour my emotions into my post, I pause because I feel helpless, thinking I won't be able to express myself fully in English. Emotions are always best conveyed in our mother tongue, so occasionally, the flow is broken.
Writer's block is also real. Some days I feel extremely motivated to write, and other days, nothing comes to mind. To tackle this, I write multiple posts in a day and save them to post later.
They might, but what choice do I have? Some days, I just need to pour everything out. I'm sure it's the same for you as well.
As a final note, many users I've known for the last 3-4 years have changed their writing styles over time. We've all evolved, and it's for the better. I've always been public with my identity, but I know users who didn't post their faces before and now do. What matters is doing what suits you, never succumbing to peer pressure.
You're an excellent writer, one of the very few users here I read regularly. Be yourself.
I am going to reply you in roman here!
Ah! Sakoon sey baat ho skti. Yes you are right about the flow of emotions and language barrier. Emotions can be best expressed in your mother tongue!!!
Bilkul sahi baat kee ap ney. English jitni bhi achi ho jae hmari, urdu jitni nai ho skti. I can write in a double speed while writing in roman. Kitna faida hey usi zaban mey sochnay or likhnay ka! Blissful feeling...
Meri post mey zyada focus mera is baat pr hey k jo log rozana post krtay ya boht zyada post krtay, mughey samagh nai ati k wo manage Kaisay krtey hein. Or phir mey ney aik do or topics ko bhi touch kiya hey...
True, the writer and their writing style keeps evolving. Or hona bhi chahiye. Isi ko growth kehtay hein.
Hahaha.... Never in million years. Peers can never pressure me 😉
Thank you for stopping by. It was good to see you :)
TEAM 5
Schedules are tight ma'am, as a mother it is not easy to cope, nevertheless you do meet up with your work schedule on steemit, to you it might not seem to be satisfactory but when I compare your age here and mine, your vote and mine, I feel you are just doing fine, I wonder how to do it better, you writings makes a lot of sense to me, because its real, expressing self. Sometimes I check in your profile to gain insights
Speaking of vulnerability, I don't think you should be there since you have a lot of people reading you, at times I feel nobody is reading me, even with this I tend to put most of my words in parable, in a way I feel will confuse my readers, so that only those truly reading me, not skimmers will understand.
I thought it nice to stop by...... Goodbye...
That's exactly what YOU are! With all these considerations, thoughts, concerns and joys. You are real. One realises that when reading your texts and that is a pleasure. And as long as you can maintain your balance, everything is fine.
Something that I noticed about my writing and totally relate to you about vulnerability is how I have been posting pictures and sharing my daily routine with everyone on Steemit. While I really enjoy and absolutely don't have any problem with public, I still have been feeling really vulnerable when I share every part of my day here with pictures and stuff. This is one of the reasons I have been trying to share stuff from a different perspective which doesnt really give away my life but still gives a interesting post at the end.
0.00 SBD,
0.04 STEEM,
0.04 SP
Yes! The vulnerable part: it comes in all shapes and many shades!
I think it's not easy to put you out there. I mean, I can totally take an hour or so for choosing a picture of mine that doesn't show me obese. Lol
Jokes aside, just now I have shared a post... Talking about my personal experiences in a way. Definitely not easy. You can judge me for a number of reasons. I may sound the kind who complains a lot. Someone who thinks that her problems are bigger than this whole world... And then I will try to tone myself down. Will unnecessarily touch a topic or two, to dissuade you from thinking like this. But in my defence, my problems are my world to me. I don't have to go through an unimaginably horrible experience to share what I want to share...
Am I making any sense?
That's who I am.
Thank you so very much for stopping by!
Love and hugs
I can totally related to this. I think we have all been conditioned in a way to be more compromising, especially the women in the house. We have always been taught to ignore our problems because there are "bigger problems" and other people you have to take care of. But the truth is, other people also need to understand our experiences are equally important to be given.
I hate that women are just "expected" to compromise and endure everything in the name of being a superwoman.
Huh, Rant over!
0.00 SBD,
1.84 STEEM,
1.84 SP
TEAM 5
You know what weapon is (of the ones you use) that strikes the reader "dead"? It's your naturalness and ability to express yourself :)
Stay yourself (you're good at it) and nothing else is needed. That's exactly what's missing on the platform.
And I was dreading: you will point out the totally "out of grid" first photo of mine in the beginning of the post 😬 😂
Thank you for your comment. You made my day... Thank you for all your interaction, today and always. Thank you for supporting me in your own way. Thank you for dropping in your comments now and then. Thank you for letting me being me!
I can't thank you enough!!!
Stay yourself, this is the best gratitude :)