Mind and Wellness: On Knowing What is Important, and What is not

We human beings can be a funny lot!

We believe we know a lot of things about life and ourselves, including such things as what is truly important and what is not.

Even so, our actions often tell the world and the people around us that we actually don't know nearly as much as we'd like to think we do. Or, at least, we're not very good at setting priorities!

Allowing ourselves to know what is important is often not directly about ourselves. Instead, it's about setting boundaries, and particularly about setting a boundary to not allow other people to tell us who we are, and what is best for us.

That's not to say that we should never listen or take advice, but it does mean we should have the strength of character and integrity to stand up for what we know is true, when it comes into question. Letting other's override our sense of what is right invariably leads us down a path towards those things that are not really important.

We often cite "old lessons" and "family values" for sticking to things that are not making us happy.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with family traditions, but any habit or tradition that does not bear questioning is immediately a bit suspect.

As part of seeing counseling clients, we often have to unpack whose opinions are doing the talking when someone says "Well, I just couldn't DO that!" as a comeback to a suggestion to abandon a psychologically toxic habit.

Why not? Is that your voice, or is it old conditioning from your family of origin, or perhaps from a previous abusive relationship?

Sometimes we relentlessly pursue things that actually aren't important, because we have persuaded ourselves that "we have ALWAYS done it like that!" That might be true, but why? And if continuing to follow that pattern isn't making you happy... then why are you persisting?

It is not my job to tell people what to do, only to present alternative possibilities for consideration... in hopes of inviting an alternative outcome.

Knowing what is important does matters, and that arises from taking the time — and doing the work — to truly know yourself. Which is not always easy.

But definitely important.

Thanks for stopping by to visit, and Bright Blessings to all!

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