The first few years after the wreck where hell. Struggling with PTSD was bad enough, but learning to walk and communicate with my voice again was a major struggle. I felt like I was trapped inside a body that was determined to make me give up on life, and I admit, I almost allowed it to do so.

About 3 years after the wreck, it was like I woke up one day and realized I was still alive. I didn't have any friends left by then and to this day do not know why they deserted me when I needed them most, but talking to others, that seems to be a common thing with people who go through severe trauma.

I still had my little family and my animals that loved me and I knew I had a reason to go on living. But, sometimes having support makes it easy to use that support as a crutch which slows down and can actually halt your progress to overcoming what life throws at you.

Over the next 5 years, I fought my way back, but looking back, I realize I could have fought a little harder. Family made it easy to not fight as hard. My husband was the bread winner. I didn't have to work. My DIL did most of the housework, so I didn't have to worry about that too much. It wasn't until about 14 months after my husband died that I realized I had to fight back. It was now or never.

Two things have become the highlights of my self care. Getting back to nature and believe it or not, Steemit.

Steemit has given me a voice again. A voice where the fact that I have a hard time getting words out of my brain and through my mouth doesn't matter. No one sees my stutters and if I can't find the correct word, I can take as many seconds (or minutes) as I need to find them. You can't do that when speaking directly to someone, which creates a LOT of stress.

Getting back to nature started out as simply going into my own yard. To this day, I still have problems with uneven ground, so just getting out into my own yard was a major challenge. But, it is slowly getting better and I can now come close to walking the entire lot (about an acre).

It took me two years, but I built raised beds along the front and back of my house. It would have been a one day job for most people, but that is OK. I am much stronger now because of it. It may take me 2 more years to completely fill all the beds so I can actually plant something in them, but that is OK too. I will be stronger by the time it is finished.

I will be growing food this year for the first time in who know how long. Not sure yet how much I will accomplish, but if it is nothing more than tomatoes, cucumbers and lettuce, it will save me a fortune as that is a large part of my weekly food bill.

Steemit has given me a voice and the opportunity to take all of the good that has been trapped inside of me and bring it out to help others. If everyone could experience how cathartic that is for me, it would change the world.

I am a real, live human being again. I have hopes and dreams. I want to get up each morning so I can be productive again.

One step, then the next, gets you where you are going.