Being single

Being single for a certain amount of time has its benefits. I personally experienced the most growth and self-awareness during my years as a single girl, and while there were some painful and lonely moments, they all led me to a place where I could break through some of my walls and do some necessary inner work.

Being single isn’t a curse and being in a relationship isn’t a cure-all. No matter what stage of life you’re in, it’s important to take a personal inventory—to look at the habits and choices that are helping you and the ones that are hurting you. It’s not a matter of putting yourself out there more or of signing up for every dating site and side-swiping app—finding a truly amazing, healthy relationship is much more about being ready for such a relationship. It’s about identifying faulty patterns and thought processes that may be blocking you from getting what you want.

To solve a problem, you need to understand it. So let’s look at some of the main reasons why you might still be single when you don’t want to be, and what you might unknowingly be doing to push love away. (And before we begin, I just want to say my goal isn’t to shame or blame anyone. I’m not trying to place all the blame on you; I’m just going to discuss some of the most common areas I’ve seen women go wrong in their quest for love.