I cried so hard!!
Whattt??!!
Candice Mama's father was murdered during south Africa's apartheid era by a former south african police colonel who was literally dubbed in the press and in books as “prime evil” for his torture and assassination of activist (among others). Heck his unit was even called a death squad.
In 1996 he was sentenced for 89 charges of crime, including kidnapping, murder, attempted murder, etc.
Candice was bitter and angry for so many years, But do you know what she did?
She met the man in prison and forgave him.
Is she superhuman? NO NO NO
She forgave him because she tires of being killed by her own hate and she found a human being in his father's killer because she also realize that he was ordered to commit crimes.
Doesn't mean that he is innocent or a martyr. But for her it means she believe reconciliation and forgiveness is needed for her soul. Of course she said this is not the only way to forgive and move on. But this is what have her peace.
She believes. “The main enemy is the system and those who continue to support the system.”
So she extended forgiveness to this person because in her context of understanding history and the apartheid system itself, forgiveness was needed to liberate herself and help the country to move forward.
Her main lesson : you do not move forward until you truly acknowledge and accept the pain, the moral failure, the humiliation, the extreme sadness.
This resonates with me so much; we have to accept how painfull our reality is to finally move on.
Not sweep it under the rug or act like “it's much better than before, we're all ok!!!”.
Nor do we get devensive when we realize what a poor and terrible situation we have in front of us.
Guilt, shame and pain might be such a bitter thing to accept. But ignoring them will only poison all of us for years to come.
Accept the hurt, guilt, shame and pain because they're poison. And how do you extract poison if you can't even accept that it's there?
Let's think about it.
Good night.
Don't forget to spread love and good words.