Funny Observations

in #humor7 years ago

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You ever notice that the things they discuss on network morning shows don't have much to do with your everyday life? Like many of us, I'm worried about paying for my kid’s college education, poor leadership at every level of government, mass shootings, etc. The list goes on and on. I turn on the morning shows thinking "Maybe I can get some useful information." I'm always wrong.

I remember one morning in particular. I was concerned about current events. The morning shows talked about Trump, Russia, and why Justin Bieber cancelled his tour. I was really upset. I wanted to see Bieber.

The other day, I was streaming the Today Show and came across a segment with the tag Ryan Reynolds is not so innovative in the kitchen. I immediately thought, I guess it doesn't take innovation to tell your personal chef what you want to eat. Fuck the Today Show and Ryan Reynold's PR team!

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More Funny Observations, (or at least they are funny to me)

The TSA is updating its rules for electronic devices.
Now you have to take a hammer and smash your device, while standing on your head singing up, up and away.
Then you can board the plane.

According to a new study 99% of NFL players have brain damage.
And that's before they start playing football.

The world is going cashless.
Finally, a trend I am ahead of. I've been cashless for years.

A business innovation group hosted a training program to teach cyber security to homeless people.
What are they teaching next, tips for decorating that family room?

PETA is having a memorial service for some cows that were killed in a crash.
Shouldn’t they just have a Bar- B-Q instead? PETA is like R. Kelly, constantly making bad decisions.

Congress and Healthcare
If Congress had the same healthcare as US citizens, we would have a perfect healthcare plan. Why do we trust them to do healthcare for us when they won’t use it themselves? I wouldn’t trust a cook who won’t eat his own food.

Alexa
I once told Alexa to ask Alexa. It went into a logic meltdown, let out a creepy laugh and exploded like Nomad on that old Star Trek episode.

Gay Cake
I don't care what the Supreme Court says. I'm never going to bake that "kill all the Nigras" cake for David Duke.

The Indiana Supreme Court ruled that the legal age of consent is 16, but sending nude photos to anyone under 18 is a felony.
So you can show a young girl your real dick, but send her a picture of it and you go to jail.

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PETA is having a memorial service for some cows that were killed in a crash.
Shouldn’t they just have a Bar- B-Q instead? PETA is like R. Kelly, constantly making bad decisions.

Hiliarous! 😂

Thank you, man. Glad you enjoyed it.

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Fun stuff David! Like your set.

These are pretty funny! My favorite is

Alexa
I once told Alexa to ask Alexa. It went into a logic meltdown, let out a creepy laugh and exploded like Nomad on that old Star Trek episode

What's also funny to me, is that my Mom would like Alexa as a friend because of an interview we heard on NPR about an autistic child who became friends with Siri.

Ha ha that’s funny