Humour

Hi guys, my name was Jonah. Not your former president oh. No! Not Jonathan. Ayam Jonah, the one they told you people fish swallowed and later vomited, and you people think it's a miracle.

Sometimes, I don't blame you people. Your problem is not that you don't read. A lot of you read. But after reading what next? You don't think. Yes! That has been you people's problem.

So you believe I was in a fish's belly for three days and nights right? Because I don't have a bed in my room or I don't know where to have my spa ♨. All of you are mad oh. So, why would staying in a fish's belly convince me to go and preach to a set of people that are not even paying my children's school fees? Wait ohh? Is there Coldstone ice-cream or Domino Pizza 🍕 inside the fish? Is the fish air-conditioned? Does it even have DSTV? Youre telling me I would miss football because of some guys that were giving their creator a tough time? Why didn't he just recreate them to do like he says? Was it not him that made them in the first place? You people should stop all these nonsense. Stop Eet!

It was not a fish that I entered, it was a submarine. You idiots! Repeat after me...
S U B M A R I N E.
I know you didn't know what submarine was and that was why you believed I entered a fish. I won't blame you people shaa. The thing looks like a fish really.

Finally, get this clear. I wasn't running from any one. I was only exploring the madness in me. I was hearing voices and needed a place to clear my head. So I thought the sea would be a good place.

Well, Las Las, I still died.

Ok bye.

Chukwudi Eternal Udoye