Wants don't get consistently met

At the beginning of the year I had an aim. To do what I wanted to do. To make my dreams happen. And I did. And the nights raged with fire. I was alone with the Gods. And it was beautiful. It was perfect. It was good.

However, triggering what I wanted to do was still a problem.

Sure, I could set goals, and sometimes eventually hit them, but that wasn't the problem.

The problem is the huge gap in who I am.

I did what I wanted. Perfect.

For a second.

Now I want more.

To be who I wanted. Consistently.

And without the pain of the shift.

The only way I figure that is to have more energy.

The only way I do that is with a new routine.

A ritualistic script, if you will...

I have had them before

And lost them

What makes this time so different