Moving Forward: Developing positive habits by changing goals

Every morning when right after wake up, I ask myself -- What will you do today that will make your future prospects look brighter tomorrow than they do today? Though, I'd hate to lie, I did clean up the phrasing for the post. Every day I do this, and every day, I find that I rarely accomplish a single thing towards this goal.

By this, I mean that I don't often develop new contacts, end with more money in the bank, a specific new idea, or a new skill.

What do I do?

I build systems of habit that will bring me to new heights in the future.

The most salient example from the past few weeks would be reading. Now that I am summer break, I have more time, and I am taking it to prepare myself to have new habits for when I feel like I don't have time. The goal- to read a book per day. That went well up until the point that I started to read especially long or technical books. So then I reduced my goal to a book per week. TOTAL failure. But what went wrong?

You cannot put too much pressure on yourself.

I grew anxious, stressed, and worried about my capacity to succeed based on my ability to accomplish this goal. It was as though every time I failed to meet my goal, it became harder to reach the goal the next day, or the next week. Rather than focus on the task at hand, the voice inside my head said If you didn't do it last time, what makes you think you have any chance to do it today?

It was an unhealthy cycle.

it isn't important that a person focus on the specific task. Instead you should focus on the endgame, on what you want to gain at the end for all the work you are putting in now.

Think about it this way: Why should you feel bad for not reading enough when most people aren't reading at all? It is a silly game where, instead of focusing on the positive, you are focusing on the negative-- what you didn't do rather than what you did do.

This is a problem I have.

So far, I've found two solutions.

1. Make more reasonable goals.

The one I am trying right now is 25 pages a day. Easy enough to do and it adds up very quickly.

Another strategy that I've read about (enjoy the irony) is to set aside a time limit every day. That way, there is no negative feedback if you don't hit your goal. If I read for 30 minutes, I read as many pages as is comfortable. Then, If you are tired and your reading speed changes, or something comes up, no hard feelings.

2. Get books from the library (aka set a reasonable deadline).

I feel like the first one makes sense without my having to explain it, so I will detail the second.

Before I had this experience, I would read books by going to the store, where I would shop for 2 or 3 hours until I had 14 or so books for the next 14 days. I would waste my time, my money, and my energy. Then, when I didn't reach my goal of a book in a day, no big deal. Why? The book (because I bought it) wasn't going to go anywhere. It could sit on the desk for months collecting dust because I allowed my mind to think I will get to it someday.

Get a book from the library. You have a specific deadline to read it by. Plus, you get to save yourself money. There is one advantage that is less obvious. When you get a book from the library, you have to go back to the library to return it, leaving no excuse not to get another book.

It becomes a system. A habit. I sit down and read. Hope this helps.