Incredible You! - Controlling Your Emotional State Using Anchors Pt. 2
In the last article about anchors, we were introduced to the concept of anchors and some of the different ways you can attach real world actions to your emotions.
In this article we'll be exploring further, so sit back and relax and soak up these incredibly powerful techniques used to regulate your emotions.
Inopportune Anchoring:
This is an incredibly powerful form of neural anchoring, and it takes a bit of time to get used to the concept, and to remember to do it; let me explain.
The inopportune anchor technique is used in moments when you're feeling a particular positive emotion.
For example, a few years ago I was working for a charity, and the woman who ran the place decided fairly early on that she did not like me and wanted to get rid of me.
I found this very confusing as she had hired me with great enthusiasm, and then shortly after didn't seem to want to give me a fair crack of the whip.
Anyway, without going into a complete psychological breakdown of the woman, she was one of those control freak people who is very good at flustering others.
Her main tactic in meetings, was to ask you a question, and then just after you started answering it, she would fire another one, usually linked to the first couple of words of your previous answer.
A conversation with her might look like this:
So Cryptogee have you finished that report yet?
No, seeing as I started it this morning and you said that you wanted to g-
This morning is a long time away, have you called John and made an appointment?
I've been calling John since yesterday and ha-
When do you think that you'll start that other report?
Um, you mean the Brackenbury one? Well as soon as I finish-
Have you spoken to Sophie about the gala next month?
This would go on for some time, having a fifteen minute meeting with this woman, was like being put in a spin dryer.
Anyway, she tried to rip me off over my contract which said I was allowed a 3 month notice period. Which would either be worked or paid off.
So I knew that the best way was to remain calm, and I came up with the technique of only moving onto her next question when I had finished answering her first one. So now a conversation with her looked like this.
So Cryptogee, things aren't working out as you know, so I think it's best that you leave, making this your last week. Do you have anything to add to that?
Only that I'm a bit confused as to why you're only giving me a week's notice. In my co-
I'm totally entitled to do that, didn't you realise you were on trial?
...ntract it says that I am due 3 months notice, and if-
I just asked if you didn't realise you were on trial?
...you don't want me to stay that long, you need to pay me the three months. Now I'm qu-
Don't you realise this is a charity?! Do you think we're made of money?
...ite willing to be reasonable about this, but you also ha-
Let me ask you something, in November when I said we are monitoring you closely, what did you think that meant?!
...ve to realise that I have a family, and giving me a week's notice isn't on.
So as you can see, I didn't allow myself to be flustered (the meeting was a lot more intense and shouty than I have portrayed).
Afterwards as I walked down the street having got what I wanted (6 weeks notice), I smiled to myself and patted myself on the back for remaining so calm. This is a woman that had put my life through hell for the past 8 months and for the first time I felt calm and happy after speaking to her.
I suddenly realised that this was a great time to try an inopportune anchor. So I concentrated on the calm feeling I was experiencing and made up a distinct gesture on the spot.
Now, anytime I need to feel calm, I make that gesture, and it takes me right back to that lovely sunny day when I felt calm and triumphant.
Memory Anchoring:
This method as you've probably guessed, uses existing memories to anchor new feelings within you.
So for instance, you may have had a triumphant moment, like the one I described above. However you didn't know about anchoring then so you never knew to create an anchor.
Again this is a technique that requires a quiet place with no distractions.
Now think of the emotion you would most like to conjure up at will. Next think back to a time you strongly felt the emotion in question. Concentrate on the memory you have decided upon. Sometimes when we're remembering them, our memories jump all over the place. This is fine, just keep thinking about it until it is clear and fresh in your mind.
Now concentrate how you felt at the time, also try and draw on as many senses as you can. What did it smell like at the time? What was the temperature; did you feel hot or cold? How fast was your heart beating; were you excited or calm?
Once you've done this, combine the memory with your distinctive gesture, again remembering to match the gesture to the situation you may be in when you need this anchor.
So for instance you might be trying to give yourself an anchor to a happy feeling, because you get down or depressed from time to time and want a way to cheer yourself up.
In that scenario you would want a distinct, but discreet gesture, as you may be feeling down in a public place, and so won't feel comfortable doing a large noticeable gesture.
Or perhaps you are a nervous public speaker and want to instil confidence in yourself. In that instance it would be fine to come up with a much bigger gesture, as that would be congruent with standing in front of a crowd.
This type of anchoring is probably the most difficult, and takes a lot of practice. However it is one of the most rewarding, as it works on so many levels.
By the way, this is the type of anchoring advertisers are trying when they attach a popular tune to their product. They know that music is evocative, and we often associate popular music to happy memories.
Therefore advertisers want you to feel happy when you think about their product. It is very sneaky and this is a way for you to use that force for good!
Conclusion
The thing to remember about anchoring is it is not an exact science and it may take a few goes before you come up with an anchor that really works for you.
Also keep in mind that you want to keep your anchors inline with the emotions you are trying to conjure up. I have mentioned this several times now because it is so important.
If there's an emotion you want to evoke as you're on the subway on your way to work. Then the gesture you use to do that should be fairly discrete so that you don't feel embarrassed.
Next, make sure the gestures you come up with are distinct. That is to say if you are the sort of person that scratches your nose a lot, then do not use scratching your nose as an anchor.
Most of all, success of this technique relies on repetition. You have to repeat the exercise again and again. After a short while you won't even notice you're doing it.
Lastly, don't be afraid to change up the anchors if they're not working. One of the benefits of this technique, is that it demonstrates to your subconscious mind that you and you alone, are in charge.
Now go and create some anchors, and let me know how you're getting on.
Part 1.
Incredible You! - Controlling Your Emotional State Using Anchors
Incredible You! - Table of Contents
HAVE YOU HEARD OF ANCHORING BEFORE? ARE YOU WILLING TO TRY IT? WHAT WOULD IT MEAN TO YOU TO BE ABLE TO SWITCH INTO ANY EMOTIONAL STATE YOU WANTED TO AT ANY TIME?
AS EVER, LET ME KNOW BELOW!
I've neither heard nor read about anchoring, but I think I'll give it a try, especially now I know that it could be greatly beneficial. Thanks mate..
Try it, it really will amaze you how good it can make you feel!
Cg
Haha, you should try this technique of just starting a sentence and then finishing it no matter how many times you're interrupted. In your friend's situation she is doing it because she can't help it and probably doesn't realise half the time.
If you do it with a smile on your face, she will pick up on it and laugh with you, she will then stop and let you say your piece. It is much better to point out people's faults using humour :-)
Cg
That is so clever. I've heard of anchoring before but not neural anchoring to link to a specific moment. I work with people who have PTSD, I just LOVE this. I'm going to use it all the time. Thank you. I wish I had more power to give a big ol' upvote for this.
Oh man that is so cool! It gives me a real kick passing on knowledge, especially as you are going to use it to help others :-)
I will follow you now, but please drop by and let me know how it's going; I don't even mind if you choose another post to do it, I really want to know how it works for them. Plus I'm sure you'll take this and run with it, probably developing your own techniques within the method :-)
Cg
I will definitely do that. I'm about to start working in a house where the clients need a lot of anchoring so I'll be using it alot.
Good stuff, you may also want to check out my mini-series on getting rid of your phobias using memory editing techniques. It's quite long, (4 articles) however it could be really useful to you. I've used the techniques to help me get rid of my phobia of deep water, I was amazed how effective they were.
This link is the Incredible You! contents page https://steemit.com/incredibleyou/@cryptogee/incredible-you-table-of-contents
Scroll to the bottom and you'll see the Conquering Your Phobias section :-)
Cg
Wow, Amazing! A remembered picture may become an anchoring for a particular internal feeling! That is, it gives information, but it can also be a trigger for a reference experience. Will be looking forward to see new content!!!
Can you link to your part one? I'd love to read that too. Shared this outside of steem as one of the first articles I found really relevant to read :)
Ah yes of course! Thank you for remind me, I meant to link it in the article. Thanks for your kind words :-)
Here's the link: https://steemit.com/incredibleyou/@cryptogee/incredible-you-controlling-your-emotional-state-using-anchors
Cg
This is my first time I see anchor used in this context. I enjoyed this as i find it so easy to understand. I am going to practice these anchoring esp the inopprtune and memory.
Thanks a lot for this wonderful revelation. You are awesome
Thank you for your kind words @princeso I'm really glad I've turned you onto something new :-) Please do practice these.
The hardest thing about the inoppurtune, is to remember to do it when you're in one of those great situations! :-)
Cg
Greetings @Cryptogee
Transference and Counter-transference might be related to this "anchoring".
I agree, Anchoring is an interesting way to "manage" emotions. Although this technique does not work on some people, in can be very helpful. What's important thing to keep in mind before utilizing these kind of techniques/concepts is insight. The person should have good insight of his condition. Just to add.
Insight is the proper understanding of ones condition and full awareness of whats happening to oneself.
Overall, this is a great informative article. More power!
Definitely insight is important, and it can often be gained whilst meditating and preparing for techniques such as this.
Thank you for your comment :-)
Cg
right
gr8
very good post missing previous post
Thank you I shall correct that now :-)
Cg
thanks for the concern