THE DRUG FROM BOTH THE DEVIL AND THE LORD: XANAX

I first started taking Xanax recreationally about a year ago. After my initial over-the-top experimentation, I got bored with it. I have, however, recently begun taking larger-than-recommended doses for the high it gives you.

Here is my drug journal for one evening with Xanax:

T = 0:00: I take one 0.5 mg pill on an empty stomach.

T + 00:30: Definitely feeling the Xanax kick in. My limbs are a bit heavy and my thoughts are dreamy and sort of weird.

T + 1:00: I take another 0.5 mg pill. I chew it for maximum effectiveness. My god, this stuff tastes worse than E.

T + 1:15: The second pill is definitely kicking in. My limbs feel heavy and I kind of want to lie down. No rest for the weary, however, and I eat other 0.5 mg. tablet and have begun drinking green tea for the caffeine and antioxidants.

T + 1:45: The pills are really kicking in now. I feel calm, relaxed, and even a bit euphoric. When I try to walk my limbs feel detached from my body and I may be stumbling, though it's hard to tell whether it's my coordination or my eyes that are fucked up.

T + 2:15: I wanted to take another pill earlier but I'm beginning to realize that Xannies absolutely kill all motivation to do anything but sit and stare. The music I'm listening to (Stereolab) sounds absolutely awesome, though. Very relaxing and I'm starting to feel sexually aroused. Not sure if this is the Xanax or not though. Also, I'm having trouble typing this narrative. I'm normally a very quick and accurate typist when sober, but I seem to keep forgetting spellings and my fingers feel clumsy. I'm also a bit chilled, though I'm dressed warmly. Perhaps it's because I've been fasting all day in anticipation of this little experiment.

T + 2:30: Fuck waiting! I eat other pill, bringing the current total to 2 mg. It will kick in soon now and I was stupid enough to start my laundry before the experiment. My coordination is fucked--I've now eaten the equivalent of a bar, but I want to take it farther. Since the max. recommended daily dose is 10mg per day, I feel confident that a few more 0.5 mg tablets can't hurt. I will wait a few minutes, though.

T + 2:45: I take another 0.5 mg tablet,and my short-term memory is beginning to suffer. I noticed that I have not one, not two, but THREE lit cigarettes smoldering in the ashtray. Oops. It's also time to fold my laundry. Will let you know how it goes.

T+ 3:00: Folding my laundry took a long time, and I kept dropping things. This is a bit like being drunk, just without the sickness or stupidity. I am now becoming a bit drowsy and I suspect I will sleep quite soundly tonight.

Xanax is a wonderful pharmy, but I would not suggest trying my eventual dosage of 3 milligrams all at once. Spacing out the pills makes it easier to notice their increasing effects as they accumulate. Start small and work your way up from there. My effects were quick to take hold, but I also fasted and am quite experienced in eating this weird pill.