Thank you!
That's what I've observed, that the people around you teach you how to deal with the various emotions and you think that's the way until you meet people who do the opposite, or at least differently, than how you learned. I'm always shocked by the idea that people would break dishes to show anger! Who is going to clean up the glass? How long until you run out of dishes? But apparently people do that.
One friend told me that she knew her boyfriend could tell she was really mad at him. I asked her how was that? She said, "I stamped my foot!" I laughed so hard! Told her he might need more clues than that!
I know what you mean about giving things time to play out. Hard to do but as you say, with an open mind and friendly demeanor, it often turns out it was a simple misunderstanding, or miscommunication and nothing to be mad about after all!