PARENTING
While there is little you can do about your ancestors, there is something you can do about your descendants. One thing that prevents a man from being a good father is that he hasn't completed being a boy. To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today. Having children doesn't make you a father, raising them does.
There are many of us who were raised in unstable families but we don't have to pass it on to our children. We don't have to fight in the presence of our children. We can choose to shield their emotions from our disputes as adults. To a large extent, you are a product of your early relationships.
Unstable parents create insecure children. Stable parents raise stable children. Children need affection (hugs), attention (listening), and affirmation (positive words), everyday. When a man loves his wife, it creates security and stability. The best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. Children learn how to handle feelings, losses, conflicts and failure at home.
Regrettably, parenting can neither be delegated nor suspended for a while as we work for the ring of fame and fortune. The growth of children is irreversible. Like a young tree, it takes the bends directed by the gardener, so is the life of a child. You can't shape it in adulthood neither can you pick it up from where you left after you reach the top in your career pursuits. It's always easier to model young boys and girls than to rehabilitate grown up men and women.
If you invest in your child, you don't have to invest for your child. Children require presence not presents. Any written will can be torn in a few years after the demise of the writer of the will. The only sure inheritance that you can leave behind is the investment you make IN your child not FOR your child.
Have a great weekend and continue being blessed.
A very true post. I am a single mom of twins and was raised in a very unstable home. After having my own kids I am trying my hardest to raise them in a home that is far more than what I had. So far so good, we've survived the first year :P I'm also trained in Montessori which has given me great insight into child psychology and it's incredible to see it at work in real life as opposed to simply reading the theories.
Thanks for sharing your inspiring words! I became a dad in my late thirties. It's been the biggest blessing of my life but it's also challenging at times to be a great dad and keep up with all my creative pursuits. You're right on to mention sacrifice because it's my creative pursuits I wind up putting lower on the totem pole in order to be present and available for my child. Now that my daughter is four she is growing into a beautiful human being. Your words are a reminder of what is truly important in life.