Welcome @amanlinkin007! Loosing someone is always hard, but no one is gone for good. I believe we have many lives and each one of them is a chapter of a much bigger experience road. Here we are obliged to wear these suits called "bodies". There is a point where you gain the experience you needed and where you have already given your contribution to the world. That is the time when you abandon this suit and move on to another path.
You, just keep searching for your passion. Maybe you are even closer than you think. 😉