Sad Girl Empowerment, Introducing Myself to All the Groovy Steemians

When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade, not unless that lemonade is full of rum, and lots of it. 

A few years ago, I was not the person I am now. I was much happier. A was more carefree, an American girl living abroad in Europe, jumping from one Hollywood film set to the next working as a background extra, stand-in, and AD on shows and movies such as Vikings, Reign, Love Rosie, and others. I was surrounded by celebrities. I road to set each day on the back of my boyfriend’s motorcycle, a loud cruiser. He was an Irish actor, bearded and full of humor, but I was not, just someone looking for adventure. 

Here’s me as a background extra on the set of a 50s inspired detective show:


 

Farewell Sister 

The Christmas of 2013, my sun began to dim. When meeting my boyfriend’s family for the first time over gifts and feasting, it was announced that his father had cancer, leaving a somber tone to the holiday festivities. The following October, almost a year later, his father passed. To witness the grief and the goodbyes his family went through was the most heartbreaking experience of my life. But it got worse. 

With the passing of my boyfriend’s father, I realized it had been too long since I stepped foot on American soil. I wanted to go home and spend time with those I loved, but I did not want to leave my boyfriend in the middle of his grief, so I booked my trip home for later that summer. 

I wish I had left sooner. In the months between me deciding to return home and my scheduled departure, my best friend died. Though we were not related in blood, we were in spirit. She was my sister since childhood, a hand to hold as we each struggled through poverty as kids. I left to take on the world; she stayed behind to eventually become the mother of four amazing children, a kind, loving soul who took away the stars when she departed. 

When she died, I locked myself in the attic and cried for three days. At the time, I was staying with my boyfriend in his mother’s house. His whole family had rallied together around his mother, all of them still devastated from their own recent loss. So when it was physically possible to do so, I dried my tears, cleaned my face, and I returned downstairs, deciding I could grieve properly for my sister when I returned home to America and was surrounded by my own family. 

That became impossible. Soon after I arrived home, my mom suffered an aortic dissection (a tear in the heart) and was in ICU for ten days. Thankfully, she survived. But a few months later, her father passed away. And a few months after that, my uncle passed away. 

Sad and Angry 

Four deaths, including that of my best friend, and the near-death of my mother, was a lot to handle within the timespan of only a year and a half. Only now, just over a year after the final death, that of my uncle, have I finally been able to somewhat cope with reality again. I’m no longer wrapped inside my bed sheets, refusing to leave the comfort of my room (though I am cuddled under a thick blanket as I write this.) Where there was only blackness before, there is now some color. The sea is somewhat blue. The trees are somewhat green. 

But I’m still grieving. I’m lonely and sad without my friend. And I’m angry. I’m angry as hell. Four souls were taken, four souls who only added beauty to the world. I want to stand outside and point both my middle fingers at the sky. I’m not the kind to say everything happens for a reason. That’s BS. There is no reason behind tragedy. 

Empowerment 

I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, but I do believe we can learn from hurt and heartbreak. I am not the same person I was a few years ago. I no longer cruise to movie sets on the back of a motorcycle. I’m not as carefree. And I’m certainly not as happy. But in my grief, I have found purpose. I no longer want to be in front of the camera; I want to be behind it making documentaries aiding in the empowerment of women, women who live in societies where they can’t vote or even leave the house without a male chaperone. I’m doing it with the amazing support of my brothers who understand that the empowerment of women is not the dis-empowerment of men. We can all stand strong together. 

The cameras won’t start rolling tomorrow. It takes money and time. Money I don’t have a lot of. Time I have plenty of. So I plan to start here on Steemit with a blog that chronicles not only my journey of making my first documentary happen, but also tidbits of my life or things that interest me, such as my family’s connection to a serial killer. Or what this picture is all about: 



And this reason why it takes me so long to get work done: 



I’ll also be posting fiction, including my novel Sleeping Brides. In the coming weeks, the full book will be released chapter by chapter for free here on Steemit. You can support me in my efforts by following me @aescholer and by reading, upvoting, and resteeming my posts. Any support is greatly appreciated. 

You can check out my first Steemit post: The Adorable Freddy Krueger, A Day with my Horror Fanatic Brothers here: https://steemit.com/life/@aescholer/the-adorable-freddy-krueger-a-day-with-my-horror-fanatic-brothers 

I’ll end by saying thank you for accepting me into the Steemit community. And if you’re ever stuck choosing between happiness or purpose, chose purpose, because in its own way, second to love, purpose is one of the truest, most unwavering forms of happiness.

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Aescholer, You have more friends and more love shining down on you than you could ever know. Some old some new and many you haven't even met. Your Steemit family will be a huge force in your transformation. And I'd love to help how ever possible. Glad you got that off your chest. Let it go and take time to heal. Never easy though easy to say...but it will pass. And being a big believer of everything happening for a reason... I hope you let the possibility of this sycronicity comfort you. Hope to work with you in the future.

Welcome to steemit community. You will love it. Following links may help you to get started.
New Users Guide: https://steemit.com/welcome
Dos and don’ts on Steemit:https://steemit.com/steemit/@najoh/dos-and-don-ts-on-steemit
Top Earners List:https://steemwhales.com/
ChainBB Steem Forum: https://steemit.com/chainbb/@jesta/chainbbcom-a-blockchain-forum-platform-for-steem
If you find this post useful, Feel Free to up vote, follow me.

Thanks for the information. :)

Thanks for sharing your story. Looking forward to more.

be happy. I've Upvoted for sure. happy to meet you in this big family.
looking forward to your next post.
You can follow my food blog to know more about me @fatkid

Happy to meet you too. :)

Wow! Incredible story. You are an inspiration! I can't wait to see more from you! :) XOXO Stay Strong!

Thanks. It's much appreciated. :)

for your kindness you will be blessed with any thing you are asked for from my heart i want to say thank you for what you doing to make life sweet for so many always steemit
Micheal

Welcome @aescholer ! It is people like you that keep me coming back on the Steemit every day! Your strength through such a series of tragedies is an inspiration of strength to us all. I think you will like it here, good people and a good place to interact, share and learn. The coupla bucks you earn on the side is the icing. Clearly you are an engaging, talented and intelligent woman – more adventurous than most! I look forward to your posts, thank you for joining and making our community even more beautiful!

Thank you for your sincere response. It's much appreciated. :)

Welcome to Steemit! It's amazing to hear that you're getting back on your feet! About women empowerment, did you already check the Facebook page "Atlas of Beauty"?

Thanks! And thanks for the tip to Atlas of Beauty. I'll have a look at it now.

Welcome @aescholer. Sorry to hear about the loss and sadness. This year has been a motherfucker for almost all my friends in one way or another. Glad to see you're channeling your energy back in to writing and I'll be looking forward to your fiction and Sleeping Brides. Followed and upvoted.

Thanks. Sorry to hear about your friends as well. Followed you as well. :)