Cancer Sucks, Addiction Sucks, No Choice to Survive...

I am a single mother of three amazing children, and no matter how they have come into existence I would never trade them or my experiences for anything else in the world. I have a 9 year old son, a 3 year old son, and a 1 year old daughter. am an artist, a writer, a stay at home mother, a lover, a cook, a maid, a teacher, a lover, a teacher, a addict in recovery, a nurturer, and so many more things.
My 3 year old son was diagnosed with neuroblastoma cancer and opsycolnus myoclonus at the age of 2 and my daughter was 2 weeks old. We spent 2 weeks in the hospital figuring out why my son who started walking at 10 1/2 months old could no longer walk more than a few feet without falling, could not longer bring his food from his plate to his mouth without missing, why his eyes were wobbling back and forth. He went through major surgery and they were able to remove the entire cancerous tumor, but even though that is gone we are still enduring so much. He had 3 treatments of chemo therapy, he has an internal port which means that anytime he runs a fever of 101.6 he immediately has to go to the ER. He is on steroids everyday, and if any of you know what steroids do to people, the ROID rage of a 2 and 3 year old along with normal terrible two's , it's challenging. Along with being thrown into this role of being a stay at home mother because he can not have his immunizations and no day care will take a child that has not been immunized in two years. Link this all together with worrying about not being financially stable, dealing with your own mental issues, and trying to manage the fact you don't know anyone, you talk to kids all day, and you feel like you have messed up all the good years of your life.
Sorry to vent, but this is where I have found that I can do that freely. I don't have to worry about my family reading this, I don't have to worry about anyone I know getting their feeling hurt, and I can get what I have on my chest off of it. This is what Steemit is for me. This is a place I can get positive feedback about my art, photography, writing, poetry. It will not always be happy and pink clouds. A lot of times it will be dark and painful and it will have hope and pain. I want a place where I can speak my mind and tell my darkest secrets without having to worry about being judged, and hopefully I will be able to touch just one person out there and give them hope. Through all of this everyone has continued to tell me I am the strongest person they know, and I still look at them in disbelief.

Love you all, please feel free to leave feedback.