Introduction to me

Who am I?
I'm 21 (on paper). Mentally, emotionally, psychologically - at least 35 and absolutely exhausted.
I'm a twin.
I'm a little sister (who permanently has to play big sister).
I'm a helpful daughter to a superhero-mom.
I'm an animal lover.
I'm a car fanatic; ironically, can't afford one.
I'm bilingual.
I'm short.
I'm writing this at 1:20AM, wondering why this guy I thought I've been bonding so well with for the last 16 months is calling me manipulative because he had to drive me home after our first (and only) date...after I asked at least 4 times if he was sure he wanted to make the trip.
("27 and emotionally mature" my ass)

So I work on energy right. I believe in using my body clock and balancing myself, essential oils and tissue salts. It works for me all the way, really.
Recently, my homeopath opened up my mind a little bit. Told me I need to accept my failed relationships from my past. Stop blaming them for the block I've placed over my heart. Told me to embrace who I really am - loving, nurturing, sincere...
I've been trying. I really have.
But it hurts like a bitch though!

To me, feelings are like eye contact - way too overwhelming and at the same time quite unnecessary for all parties involved.