What you don't know about Nigerians
The only reason you say that race was not an issue is because you wish it was not. We all wish it was not. But it’s a lie. I came from a country where race was not an issue; I did not think of myself as black and I only became black when I came to America. When you are black in America and you fall in love with a white person, race doesn’t matter when you’re alone together because it’s just you and your love. But the minute you step outside, race matters. But we don’t talk about it. We don’t even tell our white partners the small things that piss us off and the things we wish they understood better, because we’re worried they will say we’re overreacting, or we’re being too sensitive. And we don’t want them to say, Look how far we’ve come, just forty years ago it would have been illegal for us to even be a couple blah blah blah, because you know what we’re thinking when they say that? We’re thinking why the fuck should it ever have been illegal anyway? But we don’t say any of this stuff. We let it pile up inside our heads and when we come to nice liberal dinners like this, we say that race doesn’t matter because that’s what we’re supposed to say, to keep our nice liberal friends comfortable. It’s true. I speak from experience.
Yep, I relate. I've been more aware lately of how I'm treated as a woman. I've grown up as a woman in America, and I'm still an American woman in America, so I don't have a dramatic change to compare it to. But I notice differences in how I'm treated. I'm dismissed more and disrespected. But it's in ways that if I were to bring it up to someone they wouldn't even notice. You just know yourself when something is off. Ah well. Things are changing quickly around here, friend. It is true that it's so much better than just forty years ago, which is very little time for such a dramatic change. Every year it gets better and better. Racism and sexism are getting better by the hour.
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One day, all humans will look the same. So why the big deal now?
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