An enjoyable sense of satisfaction with the last corporate film I will ever make ๐
The film I have made (which documents the construction of the UK's most advanced solar farm) is currently being shown at various presentations, though I'm sorry to say we are still one month away from me being able to post it publicly.
Normally when I finish a film, no matter how big or small, I struggle to find the feeling of satisfied completion because I am a perfectionist and there are always things which bug me because I know I could have changed something about the way I shot it which would have made it better.
The new feeling
On this occasion I don't have the usual feeling. What I have created is quite unique in the field of construction time-lapse and the words being used to describe it by those who are permitted to see it are the kind of words which might end up giving me a big head. Ultimately, everyone loves it.
While this is important, the satisfaction of my ego is not why I came here.
It wasn't about the money either.
It was a final foray in the world I once inhabited to reaffirm within me all the reasons I left it behind 5 years ago and with the production of something I can really feel proud of, it is easier for me to say goodbye to the corporate world forever.
The completion cycle
This is the third time in my life this has happened.
When I was 13 years old I won the young magician of the year competition and shortly after this stopped doing magic shows.
Twenty years later I won various UK porn awards for my series Dr. Screw (a sexy/comedy/parody of Dr Who) and shortly after this I checked into a rehab clinic and stopped making porn for Playboy!
Jump forward another ten years to the present moment and I feel myself now to be at the pinnacle of my career as a time-lapse film maker. And just as it has been in the past, there is a satisfying sense of completion, releasing me from my bond to this subject.
Over the years people have shunned my completion cycle with the words that I am "Jack of all trades, yet master of none."
From my perspective life is not about doing the same thing over and over. It is a continual process of learning and if we feel ourselves to have mastered something, we must keep moving... keep expanding. Keep on exploring the endless possibilities life has to offer us.
The job offers
Due to this film I have already been offered work throughout next year and it gives me great pleasure to politely decline all of them, explaining the truth:
- Now is the time to focus on learning how to grow our own food & live off grid.
- Now is the time to focus on teaching our children these skills.
- Now is the time to focus on building communities & sharing important knowledge.
Vlogging my way onward & upward
I enjoy making films about my personal journey because they serve as a visual diary and who knows, perhaps they might even educate or inspire a few people?
So, I will never stop doing this.
When the occasion is a special one I will even write a poem to go with my visuals.
In conclusion
I feel great!
Now for the next mountain to climb, without my shoes on ;)
Who is @samstonehill?
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Thank you!
It looks like you are reaching a place of beauty and contentment - something some of us dream about, but few dare to strive for.
Your life journey to this point does sound like it has been one of fascinating discovery.
I look forward to your life movie... "The Life Cycle of a Contented Film Maker".
(and also the solar film too).
Man, the stories I could tell you. In my twenties I started to write it all down, when I was learning the truth about Hollywood, working with Guy Ritchie and making tea for Madonna.
Ironically the story wasn't much different to the film we were working on, Snatch. I was a bit of a naughty boy in my youth, easily led astray by some much naughtier friends!
Anyway, the experience of working on this film smashed my Hollywood dreams and ultimately led me to the porn industry where I could finally be myself.
Not sure what happened to those few hundred pages of autobiography. Safely tucked away at my mum's house I think.
One day perhaps, if the world is still holding itself together, I may look to do something more with it.
I like your title by the way! It has a little ring to it. Much more descriptive than the current title "Just Me".
this is so inspirational Sam, thank you for sharing your amazing journey with us, I am so excited for what is yet to come for you my friend xxxxx
Thanks! I realise in this moment that something else has changed. I no longer feel the need to be 'the best' at anything.
You know my plan. And for the first time in my life, it doesn't involve my ego!
Back when I was in rehab we established that pride was my biggest problem in life. All the actions I took which later I regretted, began with a sense of damaged pride. Steps four & five of the twelve step program were very revealing. And by the way, for me GOD stands for Great Out Doors!
Anyway, it seems I am moving in the right direction still by letting go of this aspect of my ego :)
Focusing on what truly matters in life! That's the direction me and my family are heading towards as well, and it brings me so much joy.
Also, did you know the full quote of "Jack of all trades, master of none." is actually..
"Jack of all trades, master of none, though oftentimes better than master of one"
Much more empowering for us "jack of all trades" ;)
Wow @redrica... mind blown! Where did it come from, do you know? ๐๐๐
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Great to hear you and your family are adopting this approach. There are so many reasons why this is important right now.
Thank you so much for expanding on the quote for me!
It's so weird I have lived my whole life without knowing the last bit, which completely changes the meaning. Amazing. I am deeply grateful to you :)
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Thank you!
What a sense of satisfaction Sam. And to work on your off grid... thats going to be THE most rewarding thing EVER!!!
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The vision is becoming so clear in my mind, it is easier and easier to find the 'feeling place' of living off grid. And I couldn't be more excited!
I did one shoot with them in some mansion in south london/surrey - I might have met you! lol.
(2003 ish)
The time-line & location fit perfectly.
Who knows. Perhaps I have seen your penis ;) lol
....if you were 'in the industry' in London back from 2000 to 2004, we might well have crossed paths.
I started in 2001 and in fact only used a handful of male performers. The ones I knew I could trust to turn up on time, not be drunk or high and get the job done (with half decent acting) no matter how the girl looked. Turned out there were very few guys who ticked all those boxes.
Mark Sloan, Lee Henshaw & Demitri XXX were my main guys. I'm sure they don't mind me saying their names. Around 2004 Playboy forced me to branch out and use other guys... so that may have been the moment I met you ;)
I was in front of cam for a few amateur shoots - then I did independent stuff from behind the cam (when there was money in producing DVD's, and selling them.)
You're right about male performers.
I was doing a shoot in a north London. (A very well kitted out dungeon - you might know the girl who owns it - She lives near Colchester - I'm not naming names on here).
...Anyways - 2 guys 'who wanted try 'cos it must be easy' ...aaaand couldn't perform, and it was costing me lots of dollars per minute..... you know what I mean, I'm sure.
The first - and last - time, I used guys who thought that 'making porn would be easy'.
The playboy shoot was with my then girlfriend - not me - but I went on the shoot.
I ended up doing some photography for them myself, and got few quid from it.
(can't remember the exact year now...early 2000's though, for sure.)
Always good to move on to new things at the right time.
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Just following the flow ;)
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