The Ketogenic Diet: My Introduction to Freedom (and the last time I'll be a miserable cow on Steemit)

December 31st, 2016. I step on the scale, knowing that the next day I have to inevitably do something to get my life back in order. Whatever "it" is will last a week or two, then, the feelings of self-doubt & pity will set in, I will cheat, I will fail. I have to declare to the world that I will do something to change myself...because "resolutions," right? That's what we do...If I don't, I will just be fat. Fat and lazy with no plans of changing that. Fat, tired, sick, mother of three small children, waddling through this world, sore from the fat that is weighing me down. The scale slapped me in the face. 267 pounds. 100 pounds + more than my husband...who by the way, eats the same as me, exercises the same amount as me...100 + pounds. I take to my couch, resolved to contact a weight loss specialist...maybe meet up with a doctor who can cinch my stomach to the size of an egg, starve myself. The inevitable dread sets in. I will never be thin, I will never be strong, I will never fit into the nice clothes that I love, I will never have the energy to play with my children in the ways that they so need right now. This has been the struggle of my life. Addiction to food, to self-pity, to my emotions.

Seen here last Thanksgiving, about to gorge on sweet potato casserole and corn pudding

I call my best friend, to tell her that I'm starting a diet tomorrow, of course. I don't think I had any intention of succeeding. I was going to lean on my go-to: a low-fat, low-calorie, low-flavor, low-enjoyment kind of diet, one that I would surely fail on. She and her husband had been doing a diet called "keto" for a year...and I had never really paid any attention to what they were doing, because I was comfortable in my misery and what would I have to complain about if I were healthy? :) I needed something to start, since I had already made a Facebook post telling everyone that I was finally going to lose weight, so I decided to give it a try.

The Ketogenic diet is basically this: an extremely low carb, moderate protein, high fat diet that kicks your body into nutritional ketosis, a state where you are running on ketones as a fuel source instead of glucose. During a perfect keto day, you get your carbs from green leafy vegetables, your protein from good quality meats & eggs, and your fat from healthy oils, grass-fed butter, avocados and high fat, low-carb nuts.

I started January 1st of this year. The first week kind of sucked. It was definitely a mind-over-matter type of week. My body was not happy with me. I had taken away it's drug of choice: carbohydrates. I felt nauseous, tired, kind of shaky. Then that week passed...and something nothing short of magical (for me anyway) happened. My cravings were gone. I wasn't hungry (at least not in that bat-shit crazy hangry sort of way...more of a "huh, I think my body may need fuel now?" kind of way. My skin looked awesome. I felt fantastic...tons of energy, no need for an afternoon nap, playing with my kids and enjoying life kind of fantastic! That's when I felt the shift. I realized that I wasn't weak. I wasn't overly emotional. I wasn't a whiny bitch that needed donuts and needed them NOW! I WAS ADDICTED TO SUGAR! It's like this switch flipped and I had clarity...for the first time. I felt freedom from that part of myself that I hated and from food.

I am currently 5 months and 23 days into a ketogenic diet. I am down 50 pounds. I am down from a size 20 pants to a loose size 14. I am down from XXL dresses and shirts to a loose large. I eat delicious food that I enjoy. I have no desire to eat food that is not a part of my plan. I have tons of energy. I do Crossfit 6 days a week (what!)and I am STRONG. My life is better than I could have ever imagined while I was in the depths of my carbage-induced despair and self-pity.

Beach trip with my babes last month

I hope to use this Steemit platform as a way to motivate and inspire people that have been where I've been. I'll be sharing my story, my recipes (and they bomb, y'all,) my workouts, my silliness, with the desire that I can build a community of people who want to better themselves, therefore bettering the world.

<3 Jessica