Good time everyone!

This is my first post, I usually never ever write, and as you can already imagine my "ego (Pride)" wants thousands of dollars in earnings in this post. It is incredible how we can after all this time, still believe that we deserve the best. I haven't developed economies, I didn't create anything that would help humanity reach a certain goal, yet still expect something... Can someone explain me, how can I be such a bulletproof person, life just shooting at me with "no's" and I just don't fall.

Anyways, let me start a story of how can an Ego-driven (Pride) person change his personality for one year. Time is limited, because I can't let Ego disappear. With ego I can dream bigger, and when I dream bigger, I set completely different goals and I set them for myself and my future, and that's why it's called ego-centric approach.

I was grown up in a very nice, friendly environment, where people would care about one another, where respect is important not because you are smart, but because you can kick ass when necessary. What a transition, from a nice place to people who kick each others asses. I am a no storyteller really. I was growing up in a place, where if you are not tough enough, then somebody will make fun of you, and I cannot stand without doing anything when somebody makes bad jokes. Mostly I was a calm person, I would help people around me, I would always support those weaker than me and wouldn't really care of stronger people because they are strong already. I grew up with incredibly gifted parents, not that they are magicians, it is just they are strong people, psychologically, mentally and physically strong people.

You know, there are boxes of personalities and those are assigned in colours. Red - would be leading, dictating and very active from the beginning. Yellow, would be also like red, but would try to create teamwork atmosphere. Green would very cold and analytical. Blue would be expressive.

My parents didn't really share much of those, except one, which is a leadership personality. The most Red you can imagine, My parents would often argue loudly, and I wouldn't always interfere, because there was never a hand fight, which I am very happy about, because I learned from my father that in no circumstances should you raise a hand to a woman (I knew it even If I wouldn't have a father). My father is a great person, and my mother too. My mother achieved most of the goals herself, because my father got pretty old and she took care about all expenses.

Dad was a policeman, a security guard for a president for 5 years and my mother would be in incredible Product/Project/Business Manager with many years of experience. From those two leaders, I have learned that if I don't do something myself, then nobody will. Therefore I like to have leadership positions, because I don't want to regret the result in the end if somebody else did the work. Mostly I am not a person who would blame others. I have an understanding towards people, I have empathy and I can be a good friend when necessary. But the idea of a friend for me is much different than for many others. I set high standards for friendships. I work on projects and if somebody wants to join, then I expect the work to be distributed 50/50, and when necessary this person must be able to take care 100% if im not there. Again, high expectations, where do they come from? From an ego-centric person who thinks everyone owes him something.

I am 23 and I study at an International University in Germany. I was 19 when I came here, and I was such a different person. I would be very serious always, calm, and protective. Now I am still serious, still calm, much less protective and more friendly and inviting. How did that happen?

I read a book called "Ego is the enemy" by Ryan Holiday, those who know this name probably come up with a book called 4 hour workweek or 4 hour body, which I also read. The idea that the book presents is basically made for me 100%. Again "ME" I believe it is for those who want to understand what it is to be in reality and come down from dreaming. Because with ego, we feel like we have it all figured out right?! We think we know everything. I was even pitching a company where I wanted to work how I will make them millions and they even believed me. Imagine if I opened an ICO - Initial Coin Offering, and told people how this decentralised bubble would change their lives for good. I would make millions, but I like when things are fair.

Now in the book it says that we should stay humble, we should think before saying something, and should never judge anything we pretend we know. I didn't have any of those, mostly I was just calm, because it kind of shows that you know something, what a high level show off... I learned how to be in self-control, patient and well I have always been polite.

When I came first to University, it wasn't easy for me, because I struggled with my English, which is probably not great at the moment. Not that outstanding, how "HR" usually describe their requirements on languages and how they want to have excellent people on their teams and how they want a person who would lead them and bring them to some kind of life changing point. The way they describe it... If I was that person with those skills, I would apply to any job, I would create my own, which is my intention in future. I currently work with couple of my friends on one product, and I have been working on it for 5 months and my friends joined recently to the team. My grades weren't great, actually they were bad, I had around 55% probably in my first year, it was overwhelming because I though I learned enough and somehow I couldn't get great grades. I thought professors don't like me, (mostly I don't blame anyone, except probably very rarely). The thing is, I always thought that I am smart dude, I thought I know everything, and even if didn't know something I could just BS and that would be it, not good for grading though. BS has to be smart, that's how Cryptocurrency ICO's get hyped. Smart blockchains and smart teams backed by large corporations (as if), that's a high level bullshit. I read a lot about cryptocurrencies, sorry, for two weeks, and I am learning 6-9 hours straight about crypto, so I know something. Companies create coins, that would be giving an unnecessary service. For example Manufacturers bringing goods directly to consumers, thus avoiding middle men. At that point I realised thats a huge bubble we are in. Nobody will use that service, manufacturers avoid consumers directly because its easier to sell to middle men, to retailers because its logistically cheaper, because operations would be saving a ton of money for business men.

As you can see, I go out of topic sometimes. So yes, my grades weren't good, 55%... I always told myself that If I want to achieve something, I can do it anytime. And I realised, that I never did that and I never set a goal. I never achieved what I said. Then I challenged my ego, this big mouth who thinks is capable of reaching hard goals like getting grades to 80%. Well not 100% because I have a great supporter, my girlfriend, who is a very smart person, very organised and great leader whom I love and protect. She advised to start slow and then go faster when I achieve 80%, and I agreed.

I read a book, "Ego is the enemy" where Ryan describes how we should become a student that learning is a consistent everyday process and not two weeks prior to exam. We should always strive to learn, to listen and to think before acting.

We should be patient and focused, which I didn't have. For one year I was calmly learning, it wasn't easy, I had to read everyday, I had to study everyday more than three hours, and I had to do it everyday. Well, I know people study harder than I do, but I am not comparing right now. It wasn't easy, because I was never able to stay focused in one topic for longer than 15 minutes, because I had millions of other thought saying that I have to do something else, like Workout or go somewhere and have fun etc. So I had to fight with those thoughts and sit my ego-ass on the chair and learn the damn psychology research paper, which I liked because I understood It, because I was able to be focused at some point. I had courses on Corporate Finance and Strategies, which I started learning one week prior to the course itself, and I was learning and putting a lot of effort to study it because I knew it's not going to be easy and plus I am not that smart so I take more time to learn. Sure it wasn't easy, but all my hard work paid off with 97% grade, but those who studied the subject less than I did got 100%, who are those people, I always wonder about such talents, they look that they don't give a f*** and get 100%. If I wouldn't give a f*** I would for sure fail the course. And in the end after exam they say, I just prepared for 5 minutes... Ridiculous.

It has been one year since I started to learn well, to actually understand and realise that I still don't know anything with that I somehow finished my second year with 92% grade. Honestly, I don't feel smarter but I do feel regret. I feel regret that I didn't study earlier, that I was dumb. Because learning is beautiful, with knowledge you can be sure you don't have to argue long and try to defend your position because you know the right answer and you can explain it well.

When I studied, I was arguing with myself that its enough, that I know enough to get a good grade, but my goal was a bit different. My goal was to achieve 80% but working so hard as if I was wanting to achieve 100%, and that's probably how I got 92% average In the end.

It is truly a great experience to learn.

The title says "Is ego our enemy? I think It is a Yes and a No. Yes - because it prevents us from achieving our goals, and prevents us to create relationships with people around. Actually I made a lot of friends when I reduced my ego, it's quite an awesome experience. I have now more self-control, I am more patient, and I am more goal oriented. So you think I am all set up now? I think you are partially right, because there is no such a thing like "ready", "Goal oriented" such things can't be generalised, we have different measures of patience, and how do you even measure it? On a Likert scale from 1-10, and what is 1 and what is 10? Ego prevents us from learning something new and keep studying because ego tries to tell us that we already know everything. And if we think we know everything, we won't survive in this world and will end up not understanding the world. (Not that I now understand everything, I still have no idea wtf is going on, but I guess I am doing good at surviving).

No, ego is also our friend - I don't like to follow people, I mostly hate It, because I want to take the ownership. But the book taught me that I have to be able to follow if I want to be a leader. Leader is not a leader if he/she can't follow others' ideas. Without ego, I learned to follow, I learned different types of leadership that other people showed me when I was following. I must say I really appreciate that I was able to change so much. That I broke myself and made myself vulnerable so that I could rebuild myself, more strong, more humble, more analytic, more expressive and more intelligent.

My advice for people like me: Dream big, work hard. Most people like to dream big, and chill hard. But chillness will not bring your dreams. Your hard work and long studies will bring you to your goals. Plus, courage helps in a decent amount.

Be yourself, I don't know what be yourself means, probably behave the way that you feel most comfortable with. If you don't feel comfortable bit think its a right thing to do, then try to change. If you feel you like that change, then keep it. If not, then do the right thing.

Study Study and Study.

Be friendly, open, smiling but also know how to defend yourself.

Be serious.

Don't let anybody discourage you or set you down.

If somebody tells you you can't achieve something, don't tell anything, calmly keep doing what you are doing. Go back home, train the new skill, and be the best at it. Take all criticism and work on them.

I hope it gave you little biography of some strange dude who wrote this right now.

Happy new year!

Upvote if you like it so that more people can read it. It is a life changing experience I have. (Again, dramatising)