She is a reflector of my Wildest dreams

LIFE.Is.Crazy.
What a trip.

There’s this girl.
She reminds me of me.
(the picture is from google..not her..)
She talks about how she makes alien sounds and faces.
She oms and adds alien overtones.
I’ve been a self proclaimed alien since age three.
I have my own language and everything.
She walks bare feet.
She laughs at her self.
Lives with the trees.
She is so flexible.
She sings.
Dances.
drums.
Makes music to heal and inspire.
Aims to awaken others to their “highest vibration”
Bold. Passionate.
Honors life.
Empowered.
self- love advocate.
Emotional release catalyst.
Health and healing.
coach.
Flow.
Tai-chi.
Warrior.
Yogi.
She loves deeply.
but looks intimidating.
She is my reflection.
So me.

EXCEPT.
She is my most actualized self.
she is my dreams come true.
She has done everything I dream of doing- Think of doing, Want to do.

She went to SWIHHA South west institute of healing.
I get all their emails.
I looked into it.
Loved it.
Didn’t take the plunge.
yet.
She graduated from IIN- Institure of Integrative Nutrition.
I get their emails. For a year now.
Haven’t committed.
She picked up the crazy instrument I dreamed of learning to play, and plays it.
She plays music at open mics and collaborates.
She teaches yoga, meditation, ecstatic dance.
She performs her music.
she has her own holistic healing company.
She gets photographed.
She teaches at festivals, at earth skills.
She inspires many.
She is the manifestation of my wildest dreams.
(Okay this sounds kind of creepy knowing all of this but it’s not hard to discover from her facebook posts)
And the guy I was interested in for almost a year...has liked her for a year.
He thinks-“They are supposed to be together and she doesn’t know it yet”
..That’s the thought I had about him.
He’s rarely interested in someone. Says when he is, they aren’t interested back...
This is the case with me...
Struggling to simply be myself.

yea crazy.

I tried to think of ONE thing that I have that would differentiate me. something I do and she doesn’t.
She is ethnic.
She is an earth lover/reconnect to your roots advocate. she is a dancer. Makes healing music.
Nothin. I got nothin.

I COULD be jealous.
Or I could be inspired to keep on this path.
And live the life of my dreams.
she’s doing it.
So could I.
And all I have to do is think of you to remember who I want to be.
You’re like a LIVE vision board 😝
Made it easy.

I COULD compare myself and be down on my self for not being further along.

SO funny.

she is my soul.
But he is the ME.
Now.
He is into her.
fixated.
I’m into him.
fixated.
And there’s is a reason.
a lesson.
he is the me now.
With much work to do.
Spiritually.
Emotionally.
relationtionally.
This is so trippy.
he is not ready.
I’m not ready.
so we both keep dreaming.
pursuing.
growing.
Until we can BE.
whatever and wherever that means