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RE: Being Gay at an Engineering University

in #lgbtq • 7 years ago

Thanks for sharing your experience.

Did you wait to come out on campus and join the LGBT engineering student organization until you came out to more of your friends and family?

How did you feel once you were more out?

Did you have any boyfriends before you came out? If so, did not being out affect those relationships?

Were their any conflicts with close friends or family about your sexual orientation?

With respect to your thoughts on your fellow students, some of whom just were not out, I think each of us decides over time how we want to incorporate our sexual orientation into our identity. I think some people make the mistake of minimizing the impact that their sexual orientation has on their identity, and those people may come out late or may never be very out. My experience is that sexual orientation is an important aspect of identity. Most adults want to form romantic relationships at some point in their adult lives and our sexual orientation affects our choices about our relationships.

7 years ago in #lgbtq by
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     7 years ago 

    Did you wait to come out on campus and join the LGBT engineering student organization until you came out to more of your friends and family?

     - I wanted to come out to the people that were important to me before I joined any organization, yes. That is just how the process evolved in my head, but there is no reason I wouldn't have joined it before I came out.

    How did you feel once you were more out?

     - I didn't know how freeing coming out would be. It's as though my soul is lighter and happier. Before I came out, I didn't feel depressed or oppressed, but as it turns out, it is taxing on someone's mind to keep up a lie for so long.

    Did you have any boyfriends before you came out? If so, did not being out affect those relationships?

     - I had one boyfriend back in high school, but it was short and casual. He didn't like that I hadn't come out, and that likely contributed to us breaking up. I also had another boyfriend my sophomore year of college, before I was fully out. But me being out of the closet didn't affect that relationship, probably because I was working on coming out during that time.

    Were their any conflicts with close friends or family about your sexual orientation?

     - I am extremely lucky, possibly the luckiest on Earth. I have no family or friends that have brought up any conflict with my sexuality. Not only that, but I have never met any strangers in public either. I have walked around cities holding hands with guys, and worked at public events for the LGBT community, and have only ever had people be nice to me. But I understand that is not true for everyone.

    To your last point, I totally agree. Like I mentioned above, even when I knew I was gay, I never thought being gay was going to be an important part of my identity. I always thought that being an engineer and a musician and stuff would far outweigh it. But now being gay is something that brings me happiness daily!