5 Healthy Relationship Habits Labeled as Toxic

agsttne (58)in #life • 7 years ago (edited)

When it comes to romantic relationships, we can all agree that most of us make moves up as we go, though that hasn't stopped humanity from bombing us with unrealistic ideas of what love should look like.

After reading Mark Manson's article about healthy relationship habits often considered toxic, it got me wondering which would be the ones I'd choose if I were asked.

So, inspired by his approach, I’ve broken down five habits I believe any healthy relationship must have, and most people think they are actually toxic.

Giving In
Being in a relationship with someone who is open about what they want, means you won’t always agree with them, and it's completely fine and healthy. Does it mean your partner's machiavellious plan of changing you into something you are not is finally working?
No, of course not. It means you value your relationship more than being right, more than doing things your way.

It means you are willing to meet them halfway there;
healthy relationships sometimes requires us to accept things we don’t like.

Letting Go

We’ve all been in the place where an argument with your significant other turns into a running race you both want to win. You say A, they say B, solid arguments are being thrown to the table, there’s yelling, and crying, and then some more yelling. And it’s tiring, it makes you feel bad, and sadly, it makes you want to bail.

Of course it doesn’t apply to every fight, the spectrum is wide, my friend, but is it really important to win that fight? Who’s keeping scores anyway?

If what’s on the discussion is really relevant in your lives, you should always stand up for what you believe, but if it’s not, and all you are arguing about is going to be forgotten in less than a week, I suggest to let it go.

Accept The Fact Your Partner Is Not Perfect

Blame it on the books. And the movies, and the songs, and, well, romanticism itself.
Not everything your significant other does is going to be worth of praising; sometimes they are going to be just a pain in the ass. A lovable pain in the ass, though.

Accept the fact that there will always be certain things you don’t like about your partner because, spoiler alert, everyone has flaws! But, it’s how you feel about these things that matter. If you are willing to accept their flaws, even like some of them, they’re more likely to like and accept some of yours, which I’m sure you have.

Asking for some alone time
For some people, this is a nightmare; an apocalyptic experience took right out of The Walking Dead universe. Your partner is eager to have some alone time, or worse, wants to hang out with their friends, and you are not included. What a disgrace.

If you ask me, the healthiest thing a person can ask their partner for is some personal space.

Let's be honest, sometimes you just want to be lazy and gross without someone mildly judging right next to you, and that’s completely fine. We have this horrible idea all wired up that a couple should be dependant on each other, and if that’s not the case, well, they just don’t love you.

You cannot let your individual needs be consumed by other people’s insecurities, not to mention, you are making it even harder for them to overcome this dependence. Because not wanting to be, not even a minute apart from each other, is bad for you
but actually troubling for them.

Pointing Out Their Mistakes
If your partner is being a certain way or is doing something that might not be too beneficial for them, you have to be able to speak to them about it.
And they have to be capable of taking it without crumbling apart.

One of the assets I love the most about my partner is that he’s not afraid to ‘hurt my feelings’. Of course the truth is going to hurt, no one likes being told they are doing something wrong, and your ego will be most definitely harmed in the process, but it’s the honesty that you will cherish the most.

Sometimes, a pinch of tough love is all we really need, and once you pass that anger stage, you will realize their point was quite valid and that they were right all along.

Since there isn’t any type of rule book we can all run to for advice when things get a bit hazy, it’s mostly a trial-and-error kind of thing you just need to go through and hope for the best.

Falling in love with someone is a personal and spontaneous process that should be, al in all, enjoyable, rather than making your head hurt and go through a bad time.

If you think you are in a toxic relationship, please hear yourself out. Most times, we know exactly what we need so don't be afraid to step a side if you need to.

Take care of your state of mind.

You deserve so much better

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#love #psychology #relationships #ocd-resteem