RE: Growing up in Romania #5: Confessions of a clumsy guy
I grew up with the stigma of being stupid.
I didn't do well in class in my prepubescent days. I was scolded a lot. I misbehaved and was punished badly by my parents.
With that said, in my mind, I grew up with the stigma of never being good enough.
Slowly, as I grew up, that stigma turned into one where I felt I was not a good person as I repressed all my anger and frustration.
"Belief generates action. Is it vital to generate action based on other people's beliefs?"
No.
Most parents today try to teach their kids based on the best parenting books they can find.
What they don't realize is that there's no perfect book. There's no book entitled "The only parenting book for [your name]."
We all need to grow in our own individual way and simply try out best.
Hopefully, the people around you are supportive enough to help you.
Thanks @demostene
Thank you for sharing your experience @aldentan. I've been trying for a couple of hours to find an answer because I can relate to it.
At some point down the road, I changed my perspective, to a point where I realized I can't really blame anything that's been going on because after zooming in through all the levels that's just the way they look at the world. Did they really choose to be there? Does anyone ever choose where and when they're born? Did we choose our eyes through which we see the world? Aren't our beliefs biased by that pair of eyes we didn't choose?
To me, when you put it that way, everything becomes oddly funny and synchronized. And the conflict is gone.
Indeed, "that pair of eyes we didn't choose."
To put in bluntly then, why should I live according to others' expectations? Why should I try to please others? Why do I have to care about what others think?