Kabataan (Childhood)

I am the only child of my separated parents. I grew up with my mom. She raised me wholeheartedly. (Buong puso nga ba?) In the process of my childhood life, my focus is my studies. My mom pushed me to study harder. She sent me to a well-known school. My mom was not working then so she guided me through the years. Somehow I felt the love and support from her and my grandparents. By the way, my grandparents support my studies financially.

My parents separated since I was 1 year old, I guess. To cut the story short, my grandparents did not like him for my mom. According to her, he was his first boyfriend but since my grandparents were against with him they separated.

Going back. As a child, I also wanted to play. Play with our neighbors outside. It is normal for a child to play and have friends. But playing outside with friends happens very rarely. I only have 30 minutes to play everyday. All of my time was dedicated to my studies. I felt envy for those children laughing and enjoying each others company. From our window, I can hear their laughter, their conversations, their giggles. But I have no choice, I have to obey and study. My hard work pays off every end of the school year. I am always on the honor roll.

When I reached my 4th grade, my mom decided to work. She leaves early in the morning and often times went home late. In short, she was not able to guide me in my studies anymore. I had the chance to play outside after school. I felt so alive and appreciate the things I haven't experience. I was able to play in our park. I was able to try the slide, the swing, and the seesaw. I also learned how to play with hula hoop, tumbang preso, agawan base, foot ball, syato, teks and many more. I was also able to climb a tree, would you imagine. That was a life, a heart beating life.

Here comes the end of the school year. Tadda!!! I was no longer part of the honor roll. Out of frustration, my mom did not enroll me in the next school year and decided to sent me in Pangasinan. Yes, I stopped schooling. She always yells at me repeating the crime I committed. Those were the moment, I felt that her love and support vanished. I realized that it expired the moment I was not able to give her the satisfaction she wants. During my stay in stay in Pangasinan with my aunt and cousins, I felt unloved and worthless.

I felt that she only loved me because of the medals, certificates, and awards I collect. She never loved me, the whole me. My flaws, my shortcomings, my defects, all the negative side of me. I am not a brainy kid. Probably, it all about her guidance that's why I was able to gain the awards I had. Thanks to her. But it's not me, I am just an average kid. After a year, I went back to school. She enrolled me in a public school. She did not already bother to teach me in my lessons. She did not even go to one of the parent-teacher association meetings. Like as if, I don't exist. You might think, I was exaggerating. You might be correct but that's how I felt, that is how I understood it.

Based on my experience. love expires even from your mother.