Our Independent Lives and Our Support Systems

Online communities like Steemit make me think about the importance of community in all of our lives, even those of us, like me, who consider ourselves rather introverted. I think the freedom we have in many societies today to live independently and to choose our own lifestyles is of pivotal importance. To choose who we love, what to believe or not to believe, what to do with our time, how we want to establish a family, live happily single or in some altogether new style of household; these things are blessings that even recent past generations probably could not fathom as realistic choices.

But in our independent, ever-moving, ever-setting off and doing our own thing, marching to the beat of our own drum lives, it can be hard to maintain a community support system. Especially in large cities, it is so easy to feel like an isolated atom drifting about without any connection to the millions of people around us. It can feel so incredibly lonely to be surrounded by people that we probably won’t make much eye contact with, let alone have an extended conversation with.

Community and Depression

For over three years, I worked as an assistant in a research clinic focused on treating depression and anxiety. This was in a major metropolitan area in the United States. Most of the people who came to the clinic to participate in our research and seek treatment had been deeply depressed for long periods of time. They had tried many different types of medication, different therapies, etc. I was fortunate enough as an assistant to be frequently invited to sit with the patients as they discussed their experiences with the doctor I worked for. It was very humbling to hear their stories and how strong they all were in dealing with such heavy pain.

This certainly wasn’t true for everyone, of course (and this is not meant to invoke the debate about to what extent depression may be biological vs. environmental), but one frequent commonality I did notice was that the people suffering from depression were often dealing with some major disconnect in an area of their lives that was important to them, that often had to do with community in some way.

Maybe someone had not found work for many years and longed to be employed, working together with colleagues on projects that would feel important and satisfying to undertake. Maybe someone else really wanted to be close with their family but hadn’t spoken to family members in ages due to long-term family relationship problems. Maybe another person wasn’t really involved in anything outside of their apartment, and started feeling more and more anxious about leaving it.

Feeling Better

These are all hypothetical very general situations based on many people’s stories. At least in my culture, in the time and place I live in, I find these feelings of disconnect to easy to relate to, even if I am not personally suffering from depression. Anyone can feel lonely sometimes in a modern fast-paced culture in which it seems everyone is always busy, always moving. But it’s more than loneliness. I think, for a lot of people who shared their experiences with us, it was about having a “place” among others. A place of value, of contribution, of expression, of mutual respect, learning, growing and experiencing.

I worked for an incredibly gifted doctor who was able to help a lot of his patients feel at least somewhat better. Working in research, this doctor was also privileged in that he wasn’t faced with the time crunch that so many doctors must handle. He had a manageable caseload and could often sit and talk with his patients for an hour at a time, and he often did. I think medications helped some people, as well as the therapy the doctor encouraged some people to attend, but I think even more so the doctor helped a lot of people by being a consistent, empathetic ear, every week, never pushing anyone out of the door, making people who had felt disconnected for a long time feel like someone was hearing them.

Changing Societies and New Communities

I think for much of human history (and in some cultures still today) people didn’t quite face these problems of disconnection as much as a lot of us in modern, individualistic societies do. Enduring ties to extended family that lived nearby, strong community organizations like village councils and religious centers and other such support structures gave everyone a place in a larger community. Of course, this culture of close/enduring community is often fraught with problems, such as strict social roles and other forms of repression. Still, I think it has persisted for a long time for a reason that is deeply human.

To me, that’s why it is so exciting to find a community like Steemit that somehow blends the best of both worlds: allows us to connect and share in a supportive, positive way while living and learning in our modern, on-the-go, independent lifestyles. I’m so excited to contribute and to continue reading and responding to the work of my fellow writers.