Thoughts

Anne Frank’s father bought her a diary because she wasn’t very occupied by other stuff. I want to keep a diary because I am very occupied by other stuff and and I want to record everything that goes on in my life.

Intro to My Thoughts

I often compare my life to the life of Anne Frank. Of course, there are many differences, I’m not Jewish and do not fear my death in this era. Anne Frank received party games and money for her birthday and was happy that she could buy books with that money. Today as a rich-ish middle-class person, I am likely to receive expensive tech gadgets that I’m going to take for granted and buy unnecessary games with my unappreciated precious money. Of course, I’m not like that. I wish I could live a simpler life and have fewer demands. I’m starting to feel scared about this world because the generation before mine was very hard working and not “spoilt”. I’m worried about the future of my generation, there are so many spoilt brats out there who I don’t think will do much good to the world. I mean they could possibly grow up and mature out of their “shit”, but they certainly do waste their parent’s precious money which they, first of all, do not know the value of, and second of all could be utilized for much more useful reasons.

Example of One of My Thoughts (My Mind Messes Me Up!)

I wish I could already start making the world a better place, but I now realize “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” ( - Anne Frank) and to make a change. Just like this quote by Anne Frank, I have thoughts of very similar things and am very grateful that I was brought into this imperfect world because that means I can improve it and do something for the world. I am happy that people like Anne Frank existed because that reassures me that people like me exist and that there are people out there who may have thoughts like me, and could understand the crazy thoughts I have and may be capable of returning an answer to my crazy and complex questions that I can’t verbally explain and others probably can’t comprehend while remaining sane afterwards! The English language just cannot fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts

“My privileges haunt me” - Arav Sri Agarwal
“I feel ashamed of my privileges” - Arav Sri Agarwal

I see how privileged I am, and it haunts me that I take so many things for granted when I see all the suffering in this world and how imperfect, cruel, and horrible this world is. I feel horrible enjoying the pleasures of life knowing that there is so much affliction and agony out there that denies description.

“I think a lot but don’t say much” - Anne Frank
“I think a lot, but don’t say much” - Arav Sri Agarwal

Even before I read the diary of Anne Frank I thought a lot about life, war, and questioned my existence. I have thought about a lot of the same things as Anne Frank. I don’t know why, but even though I have no experience, and should have no idea of how it feels like to attend war, I feel as if I know how it is and breaks my heart to think about war and the suffering it causes. I feel my heart go hollow and feel shards of glass floating around, stabbing me. Sometimes it almost feels as if I was Anne Frank in my previous life because I can feel her sorrows and have weird flashbacks of her life.

What I want to do

In my lifetime, I want to do everything that is possible, live the longest and healthiest life, live life to the fullest, and most of all… I want to leave the world a much better place by the time I leave Earth than it was when I entered this clearly imperfect world. It’s not really just that I want to be the greatest and just give and give and give… I gotta say, I am a little stingy and I want to live a life full of adventure and “satisfaction”, I want to chase meh dreams and my to-do’s and take risks larger than any other human may have taken in the entire history of humanity. I want to be a part of disasters and be remembered as a survivor. I may be selfish at times and cruel as if I get into business and marketing, things can get pretty harsh. The main thing is… I wanna be rich (when I’m about to die I might give 2/3 of my wealth to my children, and 1/3 to charity), adventurous, and want to live life to the complete fullest.

I often question my existence, why I am here, what’s my purpose and destiny here on Earth. I seek the meaning of life and the reason for why “things happen”. I want to know everything by the time depart my body (yes, I believe in reincarnation!). For some reason, often in my ordinary days, whether I am at school, or at home busy procrastinating (lol), the word “Philosophy” pops up in my mind. “Philosophy” literally means love of wisdom and is the study of general and fundamental problems concerning matters such as existence, knowledge, values, reason, mind, and language. These are all “things” that go around in my head as small bundles of thoughts and ideas.

I want to know the science behind everything, I want to understand all the cultures, I want to be enlightened, gain the “ultimate knowledge”, piece everything together and truly learn my purpose and why I came to be. There is so much in this world to learn about, read, and understand. I don’t think I can do everything in one lifetime. But if it requires several lifetimes… so be it!

(There are so many things I want to write about like my feelings and many more things. There are SOOOO MANY THINGS that my mind is getting blocked now. My brain often crashes like a laptop. During puberty I have many pubescent mood swings in which I wished I had lived my childhood to the fullest, but then I realize I might grow up and cry upon the fact that I wasted my childhood crying wishing to be younger and to gain my “childhood” back.)

“I want to go on living even after I die” - Anne Frank

“I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live forever either. I want to live on after I die. - In people’s hearts, thoughts, memories, and lives.” - Arav Sri Agarwal

“I see a future full of admiration, I still can’t figure out though, will it forever be me admiring others, or others admiring me.” - Arav Sri Agarwal

“You never lose anything by giving” - Arav Sri Agarwal

“Giving is truly the only way to receive something legitimately” - Arav Sri Agarwal”

(Write about “the ripple effect” and “what goes around, comes around - Buddha”)

“I am happy to have had been brought into this imperfect world because that means I can improve it and do something for the world” - Arav

I am happy to have had been brought into this imperfect world because that means I can improve it, do something for the world, and at least give my life some meaning. An imperfect world means opportunities and a lot out there to be discovered. In a “perfect world” there would be no innovation, no inspiration, no ambitions to do anything, because “everything has already been done/achieved”.

“If you’re happy, you will make others around you happy” - Arav Sri Agarwal

“It isn’t about the quantity, but the quality.” - Arav Sri Agarwal

“One hour of distracted work isn’t any better than 20 minutes of focused work” - Arav Sri Agarwal

I wonder whether all teenagers go through this phase in life. I wonder whether all teenagers get thoughts like this. Just like Anne Frank, I would definitely call myself a “bundle of contradictions” too. At times I really contemplate my personality and feel as if there are two Arav’s, one is playful and frivolous, and the other is much more serious. Actually, it sometimes feels as if there are trillion Arav’s and… (idk wht to write!)!

btw my name is Arav Sri Agarwal