Wow @glugster I have 2 labs 1 golden retriever and 1 black lab. and then a half breed lab . I find the golden one to be so distructive when I am not around. she is a beautiful dog , just a big hand ful. I think it is because she wasn't trained as a pup. she is almost 4 years old. do you think it's to late to train her. she jumps up on visitors and just adores kids , but is a bit rough. do you have any any advise for me.
You can definitely still train her. Phew, there is a lot you can do but I don't think there is enough space here. For a start, when you do have visitors, ask them to completely ignore her when they come in, until she has calmed down. Don't talk to her. Don't pat her. Nothing. Once she is a bit calmer, then they can greet her. With time she will learn that the jumping is not acceptable. You can also try and have some treats with you and reward her when she actually do something you want, like be calm and not jumping. Positive re-inforcement. So reward her for doing good, don't punish her for doing bad. Punishment is still giving attention (This is a lot more difficult than it sounds though). Oh, if she is not treat driven giving treats might not work that well so you need to use high-value treats like liver bread.
For being a bit rough with kids, the minute she starts getting to rough, separate her from the kids until she calms down a bit. Then let her get back to playing. She will learn what is an acceptable level of play, and what is not.
My wife is the real pro with the training so I will ask her as well.
Thanks so much @gluster you have been a great help. I was thinking of tsking her to training session with other dogs. she has so much energy . fortunately we have a big property for her to run. thanks a gain for the in put.much appreciated.