🌟Being Open About Our Shit Is Lovingly Liberating🌟
Something I have really had issues with in the past was not being open about the bad shit that happened in my past.
Situations that I created.
Experiences that I should have stopped way earlier than I did.
Having people around me that did not have the best intentions.
And man, something in me wouldn’t be open and honest about it.
(And at one point, my controlling ex-boyfriend made me swear I wouldn’t tell a soul)
And woah, that was such a heavy burden to carry.
It removed me from being fully myself.
I couldn’t speak freely for I wasn’t able to tell the whole truth.
I had a mask on that was all happiness and smiles but on the inside I was a crumbling mess of secrecy, lies and inauthenticity.
Ugh, just thinking about it makes me shiver.
And it’s only when I had somewhat of an epiphany after I cut bonds with a certain toxic person in my life that I could breathe again.
And it made me realize that I could not live that way anymore.
I vowed to always speak my truth, even if it mega ugly.
To voice my insecurities.
To shed light on the darkness.
And this spilled over to other people too.
I will not enable another person’s inconvenient deceitful lifestyle make me into a liar.
I am writing this now because recently I was in that position and I just simply said ‘No, I am not going to pretend I don’t know anything about this situation. I am not someone who is going to keep secret someone else’s lies’
FUCK THAT!
Of course there are secrets and stories that are told to me in private confidence that I will not share with the world.
I will always respect another’s privacy and wish.
I guess what I want to say with this post is this.
The sooner I fessed up about all the bad shit, the better I felt about it all.
Extremely liberating!
Here’s to lovingly looking at our negative past with eyes that recognise the growth in the story!
BIG love,
Ashley
I think it's very unfortunate you went through a bad situation you should not have had to go through but I think it's good that you learned from your experience and are helping others.
yes, your decision is right. for what we are living a life of suffering to think of one's folly
I read your post and i feel so close to you. Do not express what we think it's an heavy burden, i did it for years, i do not talk about my problems, swallowed them inside me, hidden deeply but it was a bad decisions, when i start to express what i feel even the bad things , anger, sadness, problems it was a relief..
Oh Ashley the bad things that happen in our lives makes us vulnerable but also makes us so human.
To be able to rise again from that fall is a thing of beauty, of being able to pick up the pieces and become better again. In it we will find the strength to continue and be the best version of ourselves.
Awesome post!! Keep it up and check out THIS POST as well as I have something similar.
This happened to me. It started out as me doing a favor for him but then it kept happening and I begin to wonder how different am I from him if I continued these lies.
I had to cut him off from my life to save what decency I had left
I used to be on a similar position and i have to agree that truth can be liberating, its like a whole backpack full of stones you where carrying just vanishes when you make telling the truth your life policy and fuck having to keep multiple stories in your head about the web of lies you end up getting yourself into when you try to lie for yourself or other people....